Feel happy with your friends and accept those who stick around during the rough times.
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Friday, 28 February 2014
Never throw anyone out.
I just wanted to share a quote with you all today. I haven't been the easiest to be around lately and I am thankful for those friends who have not thrown me out. I have a number of friends but feel that I can count 3 that have helped and supported me. Others have distanced themselves and readily accepted the distance which I have created.
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Thursday, 27 February 2014
Love ... Like Crazy.
I haven't exactly had it easy in the love life department lately. I have myself pushing friends away so having time for romance has not really been on the agenda. The one person who I had let myself trust however, made me realise that my fear of rejection was correct. That I need my walls because when I finally let them down, he vanished.
He has since came back but I just find it difficult to deal with the 'just friends' tag. I said I was fine to myself but I am not. I realise now that I fell and fell hard. Where I go from here I do not know. I tried to push him away and annoy him so much I would not hear from him, which he always said would not happen. But it seems like I was pretty good as I have not heard in 3 days now. Maybe he's busy or maybe I was just successful.
Either way I am at a crossroads here and I am going to sit down. I don't like making decisions and I can not deal with emotionally draining situations right now.
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He has since came back but I just find it difficult to deal with the 'just friends' tag. I said I was fine to myself but I am not. I realise now that I fell and fell hard. Where I go from here I do not know. I tried to push him away and annoy him so much I would not hear from him, which he always said would not happen. But it seems like I was pretty good as I have not heard in 3 days now. Maybe he's busy or maybe I was just successful.
Either way I am at a crossroads here and I am going to sit down. I don't like making decisions and I can not deal with emotionally draining situations right now.
Can I just bury my head and pretend he never existed? Pretty please?
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Tuesday, 25 February 2014
Sometimes you need to start working on a comeback plan.
Today I was inspired by Kym over at Travel Babbles - such a strong woman and she is dealing with so much and doing it so well. She spoke about having a comeback plan and it made me think about myself and how I should start thinking about a comeback.
As my therapist and I discuss, we change through our life and when you go through difficult times, we evolve even more so. This is something I have not taken to well. I dislike change. I don't like not feeling like I am my 'usual self'. But I am working on accepting that I can still 'be myself' but I will have certain parts of me change.
So how does a comeback come in here? I need one basically. I need to get sorted and try to get back on track. At the weekend I spent a night away with my best friend. We partied, laughed and had fun. It was definitely what I needed. I was a party girl and lately, partying has been the last thing on my mind. But it was good to get that side back for a little.
By ways of working out, I am trying to get to my pole class twice a week. I like my sessions and I always feel like I have accomplished something. By sticking to them I think I will get my strength back, feel happier (endorphins are my friends) and obviously develop some kick ass skills.
My food shopping is something I need to get working on again. I have lately been finding my appetite gone, gone, gone. Eating healthy is really important and I do feel better for it. Now I'm back to work full time, I am making sure I have my salads for lunches. I have been rather naughty with take away food but I am giving myself a bit of leeway. Part of my comeback needs to start from within - eating healthy is the best way to start.
Part of my comeback needs to be me accepting myself and through therapy sessions this is beginning. I honestly think that everyone should see a therapist, it is so nice to speak to someone about anything and everything and have no judgement. It allows me to have another view of myself and through talk, I can work through my thoughts.
My comeback doesn't sound too difficult but for me it is a bit of a mountain. When I am experiencing down days I don't want to do anything. I just want to curl up and be alone. So the whole comeback kinda goes off the rails but all I can do is try and keep going. It will fall in to place eventually, I just have to show some patience (not my best feature).
twitter/bloglovin/pinterest
As my therapist and I discuss, we change through our life and when you go through difficult times, we evolve even more so. This is something I have not taken to well. I dislike change. I don't like not feeling like I am my 'usual self'. But I am working on accepting that I can still 'be myself' but I will have certain parts of me change.
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| [Source] |
So how does a comeback come in here? I need one basically. I need to get sorted and try to get back on track. At the weekend I spent a night away with my best friend. We partied, laughed and had fun. It was definitely what I needed. I was a party girl and lately, partying has been the last thing on my mind. But it was good to get that side back for a little.
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| I scrub up well some days. |
By ways of working out, I am trying to get to my pole class twice a week. I like my sessions and I always feel like I have accomplished something. By sticking to them I think I will get my strength back, feel happier (endorphins are my friends) and obviously develop some kick ass skills.
My food shopping is something I need to get working on again. I have lately been finding my appetite gone, gone, gone. Eating healthy is really important and I do feel better for it. Now I'm back to work full time, I am making sure I have my salads for lunches. I have been rather naughty with take away food but I am giving myself a bit of leeway. Part of my comeback needs to start from within - eating healthy is the best way to start.
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| [Source] |
Part of my comeback needs to be me accepting myself and through therapy sessions this is beginning. I honestly think that everyone should see a therapist, it is so nice to speak to someone about anything and everything and have no judgement. It allows me to have another view of myself and through talk, I can work through my thoughts.
My comeback doesn't sound too difficult but for me it is a bit of a mountain. When I am experiencing down days I don't want to do anything. I just want to curl up and be alone. So the whole comeback kinda goes off the rails but all I can do is try and keep going. It will fall in to place eventually, I just have to show some patience (not my best feature).
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| [Source] |
Have you ever worked on a comeback or are you working on one right now?
Find me:
Friday, 21 February 2014
You are enough.
You are important, don't forget that. Caring for others is important but if you don't care for yourself, or praise yourself you will find things difficult. Earlier in the week I wrote about saying nice things to yourself. Today I want you to be kind to yourself and accept things can go wrong, change, be amazing then not so good.
I made a decision out of my pure stubborn attitude a couple days ago and I knew this was not good for me. I felt like I had to prove something to myself, that I didn't need any anti-depression medication at all. But deep down I realised I wasn't doing this for me, I was doing it for those who say we shouldn't use medication, those who don't believe in depression being 'bad' and it turns out I was just hurting myself.
By the time last night night came I was out of it, I was shaking and dizzy and feeling downright awful. I sat and thought - What the hell am I doing this for? Why am I putting myself through this for others? I am important and this is certainly not helping me. So I decided to get back onto them and quite frankly screw anyone who thinks I shouldn't be taking them. If I want to stop I will do it the safe way and consult my doctor.
We have nothing to prove to others, we need to prove things to ourself and do what is best for our health and life. I made a rash decision, it made me realise that I still have my fight in me but that I need to do it for me and no one else.
twitter/bloglovin/pinterest
I made a decision out of my pure stubborn attitude a couple days ago and I knew this was not good for me. I felt like I had to prove something to myself, that I didn't need any anti-depression medication at all. But deep down I realised I wasn't doing this for me, I was doing it for those who say we shouldn't use medication, those who don't believe in depression being 'bad' and it turns out I was just hurting myself.
By the time last night night came I was out of it, I was shaking and dizzy and feeling downright awful. I sat and thought - What the hell am I doing this for? Why am I putting myself through this for others? I am important and this is certainly not helping me. So I decided to get back onto them and quite frankly screw anyone who thinks I shouldn't be taking them. If I want to stop I will do it the safe way and consult my doctor.
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| You [Source] |
Have you ever made a rash decision and then realised you weren't doing it for you?
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Tuesday, 18 February 2014
What kind words have you said to yourself today?
I have been told, a number of times this last few months, that I am too hard on myself. When I was struggling and not understanding what was actually wrong with me, I was unbelievably rough on myself. On my bad days I would often tell myself, "Pull yourself together, what's wrong with you?" and then push to get on with the day.
I am now learning to not be so hard on myself. I am a natural nurturer with others and I am often identified as the teacher who can deal with the troubled children and provide the emotional support. My calming nature is a positive side of me but I don't give the emotional support to myself. I have been told I set myself too high expectations and sometimes when I push on, I should just accept that I can't change my mood and let it be. This I am getting better with.
I am having to start pushing back the negative thoughts and the blame I put on myself and start replacing them with positive thoughts. Easy? Not so much! I struggle to take a compliment some days. Yesterday I was positive towards myself and was encouraged by a positive day and the accomplishment of many things on my to do list. I was happy with this and thought I had done well. Today, I got myself up and about and went into school. I was able to get some more of my to do list completed in school which was again, great stuff!
I stopped by to visit my Dad and spent the afternoon watching hockey and explaining the rules to my favourite sport. It was nice spending time with him and sharing one of my hobbies. It brightened his day and I know he was pleased to have some company. Since retiring his days are quieter and it's good for him to have company, especially with the loss of my brother just over a year ago. I can see he still has not dealt with the loss of his son. So having me visit this afternoon brightened his day a little.
twitter/bloglovin/pinterest
I am now learning to not be so hard on myself. I am a natural nurturer with others and I am often identified as the teacher who can deal with the troubled children and provide the emotional support. My calming nature is a positive side of me but I don't give the emotional support to myself. I have been told I set myself too high expectations and sometimes when I push on, I should just accept that I can't change my mood and let it be. This I am getting better with.
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| I am and I can't change that. [Source] |
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| Everyone loves to hear nice things! [Source] |
I stopped by to visit my Dad and spent the afternoon watching hockey and explaining the rules to my favourite sport. It was nice spending time with him and sharing one of my hobbies. It brightened his day and I know he was pleased to have some company. Since retiring his days are quieter and it's good for him to have company, especially with the loss of my brother just over a year ago. I can see he still has not dealt with the loss of his son. So having me visit this afternoon brightened his day a little.
I want to say to 'me' today, I am making small steps, I am accepting the days when I am not quite 'me' and dealing with that. I am also adjusting to life back at work, it isn't easy but I am getting things done. So when I feel like I am not making progress I need to stop and think to myself: What kinds words can I say to myself today?
So today I am asking you:
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Monday, 17 February 2014
Experiencing 'the mean reds' - Audrey Hepburn style
Today is good day, today is the first day in about a week in which I have felt more like 'myself'. I am going to be honest and say that I am not finding this moment of my life the easiest. I am trying to find myself and deal with my 'issues'. 'Issues' is the only word which I can use to put all my problems into one place.
Last week I began to feel down again, down and tired. The off days were happening. I felt them beginning on Tuesday, I woke up feeling bad. I cried while getting ready but got dressed, put on my face and went to work. I am beginning to become easier on myself and I just deal with days as they happen. But I knew this was a step back and I was afraid and unhappy.
Wednesday saw my anxiety begin to increase and I could not pin point why this was. It just was. But once again, I kept going. Sometimes that is the only thing to do: go.
A scene from one of my favourite films explains it so well:
Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
The blues are exactly that, blues. The reds are what I feel depression is. The reds are worse than the blues, they are a place which is difficult to get past. That was how I felt and that was how my week was going. I don't want to sound negative but there was nothing I could do but just ride it out.
Now I am back working, I can't just stay in bed. I have to keep my life going, as difficult as it can be. I would usually indulge but to be honest my appetite had pretty much gone and I was having breakfast and a bag of crisps and that was all. By the time it hit Friday, Valentine's Day, my very best friend came to visit and cheer me up. We ate pizzas and chocolate and watched The Office. When she left, I felt a bit better but was pleased to get to bed.
I had a sigh of relief when I knew it was the weekend. My mood had dropped, my concentration gone and I was ready to sleep. So after a lie in Saturday, I spent the afternoon watching hockey but the reds were still there. I gave in Saturday at 7pm and went to bed. I slept and took a sleeping pill to keep me asleep, I hoped to sleep it off.
Sunday I felt it lifting and spent more time just quietly and visited my parents. Today I woke up, after a lie in and I felt more ready. I still feel a little blue but the reds had vanished. My fear had gone and I had a renewed sense to get working. I created my to do list and went with it. I feel like I have achieved something and went with the small steps.
Experiencing 'the reds' are not easy and it is something I have to get used to and not work against. I know it is difficult for others to understand and I also worry about how people feel being around me but it's me. I know I have a couple close friends who will support me no matter what. However, I feel like it will be difficult for a partner to deal with this and I do wonder if a guy will actually want to be with me when I have times like this. I suppose it's nothing which I can control, I can only control my own life. I am working through this and it is all still so new to me, I guess I'm doing alright.
Find Me
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Last week I began to feel down again, down and tired. The off days were happening. I felt them beginning on Tuesday, I woke up feeling bad. I cried while getting ready but got dressed, put on my face and went to work. I am beginning to become easier on myself and I just deal with days as they happen. But I knew this was a step back and I was afraid and unhappy.
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| I do, I really do [Source] |
Wednesday saw my anxiety begin to increase and I could not pin point why this was. It just was. But once again, I kept going. Sometimes that is the only thing to do: go.
A scene from one of my favourite films explains it so well:
Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
The blues are exactly that, blues. The reds are what I feel depression is. The reds are worse than the blues, they are a place which is difficult to get past. That was how I felt and that was how my week was going. I don't want to sound negative but there was nothing I could do but just ride it out.
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| Cake... yes please [Source] |
Now I am back working, I can't just stay in bed. I have to keep my life going, as difficult as it can be. I would usually indulge but to be honest my appetite had pretty much gone and I was having breakfast and a bag of crisps and that was all. By the time it hit Friday, Valentine's Day, my very best friend came to visit and cheer me up. We ate pizzas and chocolate and watched The Office. When she left, I felt a bit better but was pleased to get to bed.
I had a sigh of relief when I knew it was the weekend. My mood had dropped, my concentration gone and I was ready to sleep. So after a lie in Saturday, I spent the afternoon watching hockey but the reds were still there. I gave in Saturday at 7pm and went to bed. I slept and took a sleeping pill to keep me asleep, I hoped to sleep it off.
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| If only I looked so glamourous [Source] |
Sunday I felt it lifting and spent more time just quietly and visited my parents. Today I woke up, after a lie in and I felt more ready. I still feel a little blue but the reds had vanished. My fear had gone and I had a renewed sense to get working. I created my to do list and went with it. I feel like I have achieved something and went with the small steps.
Experiencing 'the reds' are not easy and it is something I have to get used to and not work against. I know it is difficult for others to understand and I also worry about how people feel being around me but it's me. I know I have a couple close friends who will support me no matter what. However, I feel like it will be difficult for a partner to deal with this and I do wonder if a guy will actually want to be with me when I have times like this. I suppose it's nothing which I can control, I can only control my own life. I am working through this and it is all still so new to me, I guess I'm doing alright.
Have you ever experienced 'the reds'? How did you get through them?
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Friday, 14 February 2014
Having your heart broken the day before Valentine's is not fun.
Today is Valentine's Day, or as single people know it as - "Day you're made to feel like crap for being alone" Day. I am not lucky in love, I never have been. My twin met her boyfriend on a night out in Uni, 7 years later married. It was all very linear and dare I say easy.
I on the other hand, have dated many guys, not been able to say I love you and had my heart broken at least twice. The latest time was actually yesterday. After not hearing from Mr Canadian for a couple weeks, we caught up last night and it turns out he is seeing someone casually now. This was a bit of a blow to me to be honest.
I haven't really gone into too much detail with him but we dated a few years back, kept in touch when he returned to Canada, lost touch for a year, rekindled contact and been in contact ever since so at least 2 1/2 years. It was daily contact, flirting, talking about what we would do if we visited and basically it felt like a long distance relationship.
We both skirted round the visiting issue and as you all know I have not had the easiest couple years. So last night's revelation was pretty much a slap in the face. I don't know what I expected but I didn't expect that. Having confided in him with my depression I feel like that has made him not be as bothered about me. I know this would not be the case and in the past when I've pushed him away saying if he needs a break from me that's fine, he's always said no and persisted in keeping contact with me.
However, I am so fragile right night, that is the first thought. It upsets me and I wonder if I have just been a silly girl to read too much into things or whether I have just been 'played' ? Am I not attractive enough for him?
I don't know, all I can say is that today, the day of love, I am feeling pretty loveless in the romantic sense and having to deal with a 'faux break-up' is not easy for me. Mr Canadain does not think we need to have time away from each other and no contact because we're friends, I have explained that I am hurt and that I always thought there was something between us. I think he wants his cake and wants to eat it!
To move to a positive note, I am spending time with my girl love!! She is visiting for a night in with pizza, The Office and good chatter. I may not have a man in my life but I have amazing friends and for that I am extremely grateful!
twitter/bloglovin/pinterest
I on the other hand, have dated many guys, not been able to say I love you and had my heart broken at least twice. The latest time was actually yesterday. After not hearing from Mr Canadian for a couple weeks, we caught up last night and it turns out he is seeing someone casually now. This was a bit of a blow to me to be honest.
I haven't really gone into too much detail with him but we dated a few years back, kept in touch when he returned to Canada, lost touch for a year, rekindled contact and been in contact ever since so at least 2 1/2 years. It was daily contact, flirting, talking about what we would do if we visited and basically it felt like a long distance relationship.
We both skirted round the visiting issue and as you all know I have not had the easiest couple years. So last night's revelation was pretty much a slap in the face. I don't know what I expected but I didn't expect that. Having confided in him with my depression I feel like that has made him not be as bothered about me. I know this would not be the case and in the past when I've pushed him away saying if he needs a break from me that's fine, he's always said no and persisted in keeping contact with me.
However, I am so fragile right night, that is the first thought. It upsets me and I wonder if I have just been a silly girl to read too much into things or whether I have just been 'played' ? Am I not attractive enough for him?
I don't know, all I can say is that today, the day of love, I am feeling pretty loveless in the romantic sense and having to deal with a 'faux break-up' is not easy for me. Mr Canadain does not think we need to have time away from each other and no contact because we're friends, I have explained that I am hurt and that I always thought there was something between us. I think he wants his cake and wants to eat it!
To move to a positive note, I am spending time with my girl love!! She is visiting for a night in with pizza, The Office and good chatter. I may not have a man in my life but I have amazing friends and for that I am extremely grateful!
Happy love day to you all - cherish those who give you love and support all year round.
I also want to say a BIG thank you to all those who linked up their blog! I will be visiting each and every one to find new blog buddies! I think it's definitly something I would love to do again.
Images from: Pinterest
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Follow me:
Wednesday, 12 February 2014
I heart bloggers!
I love blogging and I love making connections with new bloggers. From the beginning, the friendships and the community is what I liked. Over time I have made some great friends while blogging and I've come across some amazingly talented and strong individuals.
Blogging isn't always easy. It takes time, patience and creativity! I often lack all three of the pre requisites. But I keep going. Most people I have connected with are lifestyle bloggers, this can be tricky sometimes because sharing your life means sharing the ups and downs. I'm not great at this but through writing I find it easier. Putting yourself, your feelings and your life out there is brave.
We open ourselves to judgement and comments. I have always found others to be extremely supportive which is great. We all encourage one another to get through the tough times and congratulate each other on the good times.
Today, going with my love theme, I am sharing a handful of bloggers I love!
Myself and Rebecca have been blog buddies for years now. We text, Skype, type and send cards to one another. We bitch about life, boys and work. We generally speak on a daily basis but with my issues lately I have been having a few bad days so we had less contact. To show our link, I text her at the exact same moment she emailed me. She blogs about her life in LA, family and friends in Germany and has a fabulous fashion sense! I love Rebecca for her support at my worst time. Go check her out:
What can I say about Kym? If you're on my blog, chances are you have come across Kym. She is a fabulous woman who is strong, caring and loyal. I stumbled across her blog due to the hockey link (I think her husband is a hockey player - is that right Kym?! haha). But there is so much more to this woman. Kym is one of THE most honest bloggers you will find. From blog stealer's, to her wedding, to the pains life brings, to the constant moving - she gives it all. Oh, and she also shares pictures of her beautiful Brutus (her dog friend!).Kym is another who has supported me through the tough times.... and online stalker! Kym- you are amazing girl! Keep going and stay strong!
Sarah at Venus Trapped in Mars
Blogging isn't always easy. It takes time, patience and creativity! I often lack all three of the pre requisites. But I keep going. Most people I have connected with are lifestyle bloggers, this can be tricky sometimes because sharing your life means sharing the ups and downs. I'm not great at this but through writing I find it easier. Putting yourself, your feelings and your life out there is brave.
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| [Source] |
We open ourselves to judgement and comments. I have always found others to be extremely supportive which is great. We all encourage one another to get through the tough times and congratulate each other on the good times.
Today, going with my love theme, I am sharing a handful of bloggers I love!
Myself and Rebecca have been blog buddies for years now. We text, Skype, type and send cards to one another. We bitch about life, boys and work. We generally speak on a daily basis but with my issues lately I have been having a few bad days so we had less contact. To show our link, I text her at the exact same moment she emailed me. She blogs about her life in LA, family and friends in Germany and has a fabulous fashion sense! I love Rebecca for her support at my worst time. Go check her out:
What can I say about Kym? If you're on my blog, chances are you have come across Kym. She is a fabulous woman who is strong, caring and loyal. I stumbled across her blog due to the hockey link (I think her husband is a hockey player - is that right Kym?! haha). But there is so much more to this woman. Kym is one of THE most honest bloggers you will find. From blog stealer's, to her wedding, to the pains life brings, to the constant moving - she gives it all. Oh, and she also shares pictures of her beautiful Brutus (her dog friend!).Kym is another who has supported me through the tough times.... and online stalker! Kym- you are amazing girl! Keep going and stay strong!
Sarah at Venus Trapped in Mars
Sarah is hilarious. I could leave it at that but I won't. It may sound like I am selling her short (I'm not - seriously, read her blog and you will figure that out). Sarah is another girl, who like me, loves sports but also loves being that bit girly! You want to know about Football? Go to her, funny and factual. Sarah is also on the healthy bandwagon with me. I like have a little Twitter conversation with Miss Sarah too - witty witty!
Hockey Wife is back and I for one am pleased! Hockey Wife was one of my very first followers and very first blogs on my reading list. After a hiatus she's back and I love it. She is hilarious and just has a sweet family. She's also a busy Momma and boy does she work hard which is just as amazing to read about. Settling in Germany for her husband's career the last two seasons has not been the easiest but shes handled it all in her stride. So now, she's back- check out her blog for posts about her life and pictures of her adorable little ones!
Becky is amazing, she is someone who also is going through a tough time like myself but pulls herself up and keeps going. Becky always supports me and I am so excited to follow her 'being brave' journey right now. She is a fighter and if there's anything which impresses me, it is someone who fights. Becky is witty and intelligent and you will find posts about her thoughts and feelings. I love that she puts her opinion out there and it is what it is. Hop on over and see her fabulous posts!
Link up your blog below for us to visit and Let's spread some blog love this week! I always love to find new blogs!
Click the link to follow me on Bloglovin' - show some blog love this week!
Tuesday, 11 February 2014
What is love?
The word love is used all the time in day to day conversations. But sometimes, that 4 letter word can have quite an effect on a person. Especially in the romance sense.
Those 4 words can be a pleasure to hear or just knock you for six and lead to heartbreak.
When I asked the kids in my class last year, 'What is love?' before my sister's wedding, a couple responses were:
"When you don't date anyone else."
"When you go out to restaurants and hold hands."
Both very sweet responses and to be honest, both are aspects of love. Love to me is many different things all in one. I don't think it is easy to explain and lots of things relating to love are feelings and not tangible or things which can be seen.
I have never been the best person accepting love. I am the type of person who freaks out when I know someone is getting close and I push away. Why? I am not really sure. I love the closeness of love, that feeling that you have someone you can talk to anything about, who supports you and who you can just have fun with. But when I start to feel close I push the person away by acting distant or just becoming panicked. This is where love takes on a personal meaning to me, it means to keep supporting me and not allow me to push you away. I don't mean this in a selfish give, give, give way. Just a give me time and show me I can trust. My closeness issues in love come from not trusting and expecting someone to walk away. However, once I trust someone I am 100% in it (friendships and love).
To me, being in love is going out and about, spending nights on the sofa watching rubbish tv and still having fun, being able to support one another through good and bad and obviously having great chemistry. I've had a fair few bad times of late and I think having had someone by my side, it may have been somewhat easier to go through the changes in my life. But it has made me stronger and dertermined to find someone who is right for me.
I am happy for love and ready for love but I won't be jumping in to anything! I want to know it's right and I want to know the person is someone who is honest and I can trust. I am quite the nurturer and I give so much I would like to find someone who doesn't use that to their advantage.
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| [Source] |
When I asked the kids in my class last year, 'What is love?' before my sister's wedding, a couple responses were:
"When you don't date anyone else."
"When you go out to restaurants and hold hands."
Both very sweet responses and to be honest, both are aspects of love. Love to me is many different things all in one. I don't think it is easy to explain and lots of things relating to love are feelings and not tangible or things which can be seen.
I have never been the best person accepting love. I am the type of person who freaks out when I know someone is getting close and I push away. Why? I am not really sure. I love the closeness of love, that feeling that you have someone you can talk to anything about, who supports you and who you can just have fun with. But when I start to feel close I push the person away by acting distant or just becoming panicked. This is where love takes on a personal meaning to me, it means to keep supporting me and not allow me to push you away. I don't mean this in a selfish give, give, give way. Just a give me time and show me I can trust. My closeness issues in love come from not trusting and expecting someone to walk away. However, once I trust someone I am 100% in it (friendships and love).
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| Ok...if you insist [Source] |
To me, being in love is going out and about, spending nights on the sofa watching rubbish tv and still having fun, being able to support one another through good and bad and obviously having great chemistry. I've had a fair few bad times of late and I think having had someone by my side, it may have been somewhat easier to go through the changes in my life. But it has made me stronger and dertermined to find someone who is right for me.
 |
| If you're looking for love, I hope you do... [Source] |
I am happy for love and ready for love but I won't be jumping in to anything! I want to know it's right and I want to know the person is someone who is honest and I can trust. I am quite the nurturer and I give so much I would like to find someone who doesn't use that to their advantage.
I am not sure I have even answered my own question at the end of this? What about you - do you have thoughts on what love is? I would love to read your comments!
Click the link to follow me on Bloglovin' - show some blog love this week!
Monday, 10 February 2014
Valentine's for the whole family!
Today is the start of 'Love Week' here at Take All Chances. With Valentine's Day at the end of the week I thought I would do some posts about love this week. Today's post is something which I have worked on with a contact regarding ways to celebrate Valentine's with the whole family! After all, love goes between the whole family and to show them love and spend time with them is a perfect treat!
Enjoy!
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3 Valentine’s Day Activities Your Whole
Family Will Love
Valentine’s isn’t just about spending time
with the person you love. It is also about bonding with your kids and
teaching them how important it is to appreciate and love their family. By
helping to challenge their minds and helping them get some exercise with fun
Valentine’s themed games, you will not only be able to bond during the day as a
family, but as they pass out from all of the fun, you get to enjoy your
significant other at night.
1. A Valentine’s Day Scavenger Hunt with
Themed Clues
In a Valentine’s Day scavenger hunt, you’ll
have your children searching for red heart-shaped clues that lead them to a fun
activity and prize for the whole family.
First, assign each of your children his or her favorite cartoon or movie
character- this will serve as the theme of your child’s scavenger hunt. Write each of their first clues on a
Valentine’s card featuring their assigned characters. Many drugstores carry inexpensive movie- and
television-inspired Valentine’s cards, or you can make your own using free
Valentine’s Day cartoon printables from the internet. Include a letter with the first clues
explaining that their character has lost something he or she loves and needs your
child’s help finding it. Make sure to
put your children’s first clues somewhere they won’t be able to miss, such as their
bedroom doors or bathroom mirror.
On the rest of the clues, include objects
that are important to each of your children’s characters but are not what that
character loves and is searching for. If
you’re using Aladdin, you can include a magic carpet on one clue and a genie
lamp on another, but don’t include Princess Jasmine until the very end. Make sure that your children’s clues always
lead to the same locations throughout the hunt.
This way, they can brainstorm and work together in finding their next
clues. What can be more fun for a parent than seeing their children work
together!
Once your children arrive at their final
destination, glue a picture of what each of their individual characters have
been searching for all along. Leave a letter
explaining that as a reward for working together, you’ll do a fun activity as a
family later that evening. This can be
as simple as eating dinner at your children’s favorite restaurant or watching a
movie together in new Valentine’s Day pajamas that your children can find as a
prize for finishing the scavenger hunt.
 |
| Oh so pretty and cute! [Source] |
2. “You’ve
Melted My Heart” Pictionary
You’ve Melted My Heart Pictionary is a fun and
simple Valentine’s guessing game that can help your whole family to be creative
and have a blast. To begin, place water in heart-shaped ice cube trays, and add
red food coloring to the water. (If you
don’t own a heart-shaped ice tray, you can find them at a local dollar store or
very inexpensively on sites like Amazon.)
Have everyone write words or phrases on little strips of paper, and
place the strips of paper in a bowl. The key to Valentine’s Pictionary is to
relate all of the notes to Valentine’s Day or love. For example, one of the
notes can say “Cupid’s arrow,” while others could say “secret admirer,”
“initials carved into a tree,” or “Valentine’s Day candy.”
Once the ice-shaped hearts have frozen,
you’re ready to begin playing! Have
someone randomly pick a note out of the bowl.
Then, drop an ice heart into a container of warm water. Whoever’s turn it is to be the artist can
only draw for as long as the ice-heart has not completely melted. When the ice has melted, it is up to the rest
of the family to yell, “You’ve melted my heart!” and then have someone else
take a turn being the artist. Whenever
someone guesses what the artist has drawn correctly, both that person and the
artist get a point. That way, everyone
will do their best to draw the words or phrases well and guess correctly!
 |
| The only way to play! [Source] |
3. Heart-Shaped Baking and Valentine’s Day Cake
Decorating
Having your children help you to bake and
decorate mini heart-shaped cakes or a large Valentine’s Day family cake can be
a lot of fun, especially since they’ll get to eat what they create! While you’re baking, an adult must be present
to supervise and make sure that children do not handle knives, use the oven, or
use or touch anything that is hot, as this may be dangerous.
There are two ways you can create
heart-shaped cakes. The first, which is easier,
is to have your children help you bake a large cake and then use a heart-shaped
cookie cutter to cut out smaller cakes. The
second method is to use a large square pan and small, springform cylindrical
cheesecake or cupcake pans. If you are using this method, take the square
cake and cut it into even squares. The
diagonal across the square should be the same size as the diameter of the
cupcake or circle. Next, slice each
circular cake in half and place two half circles on two sides of the square on
the top to form a heart.
No matter if you choose to make mini-heart
shaped cakes or a large Valentine’s Day family cake, having your kids help you
to pour bake mix into the pan and decorate cake with Valentine’s Day candies,
Hershey Kisses, and cute sayings like “Be Mine” or “I love you” can be a ton of
fun for your children. Make sure that
everyone initials their mini-heart cakes or their slices of the Valentine’s Day
family cake so you can take a picture of everyone’s creations before you begin
eating!
 |
| Yes please! [Source] |
Valentine’s Day can be a wonderful
opportunity to share special moments with your family. By making a Valentine’s Day scavenger hunt,
playing Your Melting My Heart Pictionary, or enjoying Valentine’s Day baking
together, you can create activities that your whole family will love. With these activities, you can help your
family to grow closer and make Valentine’s Day special for everyone.
___________________________________
I don't know about you, but I love baking so heart shaped cakes is definitly a winner for me!
Have you got plans for the whole family this Valentine's?
Saturday, 8 February 2014
Facebook and its dark side!
I hold my hands up and admit, I am quite the social media junkie. I've the usual list of suspects bookmarked and in app version on my phone and IPad. Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Snapchat, Whats App, Viber etc. I use some for a real need and others tend to be more fun and a time waster.
But at the end of last year I began to fall out of love with Facebook. I have been on Facebook for many years and used it to message friends (especially those who live in other countries), share photos and keep up to date with the goings on as well as the usual Facebook stalking (information finding) - I am sure everyone does this!
I liked it, I liked the contact and would check it once in a while. Then when phones improved and IPads were here, it was accessible everywhere I went. Initially I liked this, the contact was great. This was especially useful during my time in Australia for keeping in contact with home. Then it slowly began to creep in to more of my time.
Facebook Messenger was than a stand alone app which I had. To be honest, this is where it began to go downhill. I was frustrated with the double notifications when getting messages. I disliked the ability to see who was online and when messages were being read. I'm all for finding out information but it just seemed very intrusive.
I was mainly using Messenger to keep in contact with a good friend over in Canada and when he got Viber, we used it less. So the initial culling came with Messenger. Over time, I began to get bored with Facebook. It happened slowly but once I noticed it, I began to notice it time and again. The turning point was when I was off work unwell. I was using it as a time waster, checking my phone all the time. I was refreshing my news feed and not even looking at it.
I also began to get annoyed with the negativity of people's status' and the opposite, the complete unnecessary posts e.g. "Enjoying a romantic meal - at my cosy home" Umm, enjoy it then and stay away from Facebook.
So as this began to build I realised I was not using it for any great reason and that I didn't really need to have it to be connected. Before New Year, I deactivated my account. I debated it and wondered if I even needed to deactivate. Couldn't I not just log out? But I didn't trust myself, honestly, and I am sure many will agree, the whole thing is addictive. So I went with the decision to deactivate. I didn't think I was strong enough to just 'not log in'. With the deactivation came the deletion of apps.
The first week was tricky, I found myself picking up my phone to check it when I was bored or had time on my hands. I saw my friend logged in and was like... Oh my goodness! I have not seen the news feed in what feels like so long! I also had a couple of friends and family asking what had happened and was I ok as I was off Facebook. Crazy isn't it? The deactivation of a social media tool is enough to make people think there was something wrong with me. Like seriously wrong.
To quote a favourite blogger of mine - Sarah at Venus Trapped - "Nothing good comes from Facebook." This I agree with, it can be fun but nothing good comes from it. Since my deactivation, I have had a number of people say, "Don't come back," or "I wish I could stay off it." I have to say, I don't really miss it right now, I have other things to focus on and I don't need it. I can't say I will be away forever but for this moment in time, when it's important to focus on myself, I am happy to be away from the dark side of Facebook!
Find Me
twitter/bloglovin/pinterest
But at the end of last year I began to fall out of love with Facebook. I have been on Facebook for many years and used it to message friends (especially those who live in other countries), share photos and keep up to date with the goings on as well as the usual Facebook stalking (information finding) - I am sure everyone does this!
 |
| Yes and yes... [Source] |
I liked it, I liked the contact and would check it once in a while. Then when phones improved and IPads were here, it was accessible everywhere I went. Initially I liked this, the contact was great. This was especially useful during my time in Australia for keeping in contact with home. Then it slowly began to creep in to more of my time.
 |
| I forgot to refresh my news feed...oh no! [Source] |
Facebook Messenger was than a stand alone app which I had. To be honest, this is where it began to go downhill. I was frustrated with the double notifications when getting messages. I disliked the ability to see who was online and when messages were being read. I'm all for finding out information but it just seemed very intrusive.
I was mainly using Messenger to keep in contact with a good friend over in Canada and when he got Viber, we used it less. So the initial culling came with Messenger. Over time, I began to get bored with Facebook. It happened slowly but once I noticed it, I began to notice it time and again. The turning point was when I was off work unwell. I was using it as a time waster, checking my phone all the time. I was refreshing my news feed and not even looking at it.
I also began to get annoyed with the negativity of people's status' and the opposite, the complete unnecessary posts e.g. "Enjoying a romantic meal - at my cosy home" Umm, enjoy it then and stay away from Facebook.
 | |
| Just don't... [Source] |
So as this began to build I realised I was not using it for any great reason and that I didn't really need to have it to be connected. Before New Year, I deactivated my account. I debated it and wondered if I even needed to deactivate. Couldn't I not just log out? But I didn't trust myself, honestly, and I am sure many will agree, the whole thing is addictive. So I went with the decision to deactivate. I didn't think I was strong enough to just 'not log in'. With the deactivation came the deletion of apps.
The first week was tricky, I found myself picking up my phone to check it when I was bored or had time on my hands. I saw my friend logged in and was like... Oh my goodness! I have not seen the news feed in what feels like so long! I also had a couple of friends and family asking what had happened and was I ok as I was off Facebook. Crazy isn't it? The deactivation of a social media tool is enough to make people think there was something wrong with me. Like seriously wrong.
 |
| We can all sort friends into this list [Source] |
To quote a favourite blogger of mine - Sarah at Venus Trapped - "Nothing good comes from Facebook." This I agree with, it can be fun but nothing good comes from it. Since my deactivation, I have had a number of people say, "Don't come back," or "I wish I could stay off it." I have to say, I don't really miss it right now, I have other things to focus on and I don't need it. I can't say I will be away forever but for this moment in time, when it's important to focus on myself, I am happy to be away from the dark side of Facebook!
Have you ever had a Facebook break? What do you think of Facebook?
______________________________________________________
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