To-do lists just got serious...

My life has taken quite a frantic pace as of late. I am having more responsibilities at work and this brings new challenges. The problem is that I am having to slowly adapt my lifestyle to support my health now. I worked myself into the ground through various personal issues and family loss. I am now beginning to emerge again and hopefully make it through without an burn out.

To help me I am utilising to do lists. I have tried them before and failed. I begin to make lists and get so overwhelmed by everything I have to do I stop looking at it. But, through discussion with my therapist we have decided it would be a good step to try and develop. Breaking my 'necessary' jobs into manageable parts. 

True story...[Source]

I have to do lists on my fridge for daily jobs to complete before I go to bed. Then I can wake up in the morning without anxiety over what I haven't done and decided to 'leave until the morning'. Whenever I leave things to the morning I can guarantee I will wish I'd done it the night before. Now that stress and anxiety over little things has gone.

Work however is a different matter. I have work coming out of my ears it feels so trying to narrow down what is necessary and unnecessary is proving more difficult. I have turned to my to do list template to try and help me focus and choose ACHIEVABLE goals for how many I will complete from list.

It is going to take some time but I am serious about this - I know I need to try and get my work/life balance in order and I think this could help me. I currently have 2 'To do lists'. One for my daily school jobs and another for all the sports obs which are specific to my coordinator's role in the school. 

My current sports to do list ... work in progress.

I am trying to cut everything down to only what is needed. I actually stopped myself from doing something today as I deemed it was 'uneccesary' - I praised myself as this is not something I do well. I am hoping this is the start of my getting my life more balanced. I can only but try!

What tips to you have for organising daily jobs?

Living with anemia...

As I spoke about in an earlier post this year, I was diagnosed with severe anaemia. It seemed the previous year had taken a toll on my body in more ways than one and something which I could normally have dealt with, without even realising, became something quite serious. After finding out just how low I was I was still in denial and continued to think I was fine. Yes I took the iron tablets but I continued to have the cloud of last year hanging over me. Little did I know at the time, anaemia symptoms are very similar to those of depression - partly why it took so long to diagnose.

I am sure many of you have heard of anaemia before, possibly even had some kind of small drop in iron levels. But the place I have been with it was not just 'a little drop'.

If you're not familiar I should share the symptoms I have had:
- Major fatigue
- Stomach pains
- Paleness
- Broken sleep
- Restless legs
- Months of illness due to low immune system
- Shortness of breath and heart palpitations
- Dizziness (I struggled sometimes to just stand up from sitting)
- Tinnitus (at my worst)
- Unwilling to socialise
- Not being able to concentrate and memory loss
- Constant cold hands/feet
- Headaches daily

Lack of red blood cells means decreased oxygen throughout the whole body. [Source]

Amongst all of this I continued to teach and I can safely say thinking you're about to faint is not a fun feeling to have in front of 30 kids aged 9-10. I think they'd be scarred for life seeing their teacher pass out. Put all these symptoms together and I have found it to be quite debilitating on my lifestyle.

I have found weekends go by in a blur of sleeping and not being able to get off the sofa. Going out with friends? That was a big no no. It meant having to actually get dressed and brush my hair. Something I couldn't face. Of course this made work difficult and I began to struggle.

Me every single day - Just  a lot less glamorous.

We've all felt tiredness but anaemic fatigue is something else. It was awful. I did wake most mornings and cry at the thought of having to get out of bed and if people asked me to do anything I would instantly get a surge of anxiety and wonder how I would cope. I almost feel that words can't describe it. Most people just say, "Get some sleep." But it didn't matter. I didn't need sleep.

The final straw came when I developed a sever case of tonsillitis. I had had it for a week but told myself it was a sore throat and continued to work and even completed two parent's evenings! When I went to my doctor she was quite rightly worried and sent me off with medication and told me I had to rest. She uttered the words, "Missy... you look knackered. You need to stop."

I think at this point I was just happy to feel like it was 'allowed' for me to have a break. 'Allowed' to feel weak. 'Allowed' to put myself first. I worked the rest of the day and then was off for two weeks followed by two weeks half term break. I rested up- the first week I slept for at least 14 hours a day at various points. The double whammy of tonsillitis and anaemia took it course. That is for sure.

I felt rested and ready to go. My iron levels had raised (nothing massive but definitely to a level which I could be classed healthier: 8 to 32), I was finished my course of tablets and back to work feeling like a different person. It was such a difference to feel like I wanted to do things and have a drive back. However, after having a blood test a week after finishing tablets, my levels had dropped back to 18. This again was not as low as previous but back to near borderline severe once again. So, after two weeks I was back on tablets and now 6 weeks later I can feel myself on the spiral again. This time round I feel so much more prepared for the iron battle.

I am hoping to blog again this week to talk about how I have been inspired to become a healthier me with all of this. Until then I am resting up and making small to do lists to make tasks easier to complete.

Have you ever had any issues with anaemia? How did you cope with the lifestyle change if it became long term?

Bonjour...?

I have decided it is time to start ticking some things off my wish list - which I will share at some point I am sure. Last week I thought back to 2012 and what I wanted to accomplish but hadn't. Learning something new came to mind, in particularly languages. 

I might be able to manage this at least...

In my school days I studied German to quite a high level and was pretty good at it. But I had always wished to have learnt French too. France is synonymous with love and adventure. In fact I like to imagine myself as a Miss Hepburn, exploring the city full of smiles. This has been one of the reasons I've always wanted to learn it. Also, I want to add more languages to my repertoire just for my own personal achievement.

The most important thing...

So, as of tomorrow, I am going back to school. The teacher will well and truly become the student. I know two lines in French and that is all. Hopefully, after the 10 week course I will be somewhat fluent in the language of love... or at least able to order a good meal and alcohol.
Are there any things you would like to go back to school to study?

ESPA Cellular Renewal Enzyme Facial Peel...

I am a bit of a potions and lotions junkie. I will give anything a try and through my early twenties I did - I am the first to admit I have had an ongoing love/hate relationship with my skin. It has never been bad but it has never been as perfect as I wish it could be. Many times I have wanted to not leave the house thinking my skin was just not great. It may sound ridiculous to some but it is something I have always had an insecurity about.

I have used MAC religiously since I was 16 to make my skin 'better' and by that I mean cover it. However, as I have grown older and tried many products I have realised that less is definitely more. Gone are the days of harsh scrubs and strong lotions.

I discovered Clarins about 3 years ago and was converted. If you have never tried it, I would definitely suggest it. It was a great relief to my skin after the years of harsh products and certaintly began to even the skin tone. In the past year I have discovered a new skin saviour however which I want to share with you. 

I have now become a BIG fan of these products. I have shared my thoughts about their body products in a previous post and now I am onto their skin products. They are all so natural and I have not used anything which smells as good as these do. I have also had a number of their facials which I can not recommend enough. So, when my therapist told me about their new enzyme peel I was definitely up for it.

It is no surprise to my readers that I have not been well at all lately and unfortunately my skin was starting to show it. I felt like it was dull and tired. It was definitely in need of a boost. So I booked my appointment.

The facial was 90 minutes in total and began with a steamer and cleansing with the ESPA floral products. As they are aromatic based, before starting you will smell test the different fragrances and I went for the floral - which I usually end up with.Before any further work, my skin was looked at under a special UV lamp. I was pleasantly surprised to hear my skin was actually in good condition.I had the usual dehydration around my eyes but other than that, there was some slight congestion and that was it. 

So as my therapist suspected, it was going to be all about brightening the skin tone. When this was identified there were a number of steps, including the enzyme peel itself. I was started with strength 1 (it goes to 5) as it was my first time with the possibility in the future of going higher. It tingles when it is first applied but the higher strength may sting some skin. Throughout the facial various hot and cold towels were applied and my skin was massaged based on the lymph drainage. One of the final steps was the application of an minty firming and lifting peel. This, in contrast to the warm enzyme peel was nice. Rose quartz were also used to massage the skin to promote calming. 

This was a strange sensation on the skin but lovely after the peel [Source]

I know, this sounds amazing and it was but that was not the only good thing. As my masks were drying I was given a neck, arm and scalp massage. I always carry tension in my neck so this was the icing on the cake.

It didn't come cheap, it was a promotional price of £75 but will be £90 in my spa ($140 approx) once it has been introduced.  I will be needing a set of about 6 (a month between each one) which should see my skin change for the better. The results were seen as soon as the massage was over and today it has felt so amazing. As someone who has had a lot of insecurities with my skin, this is something which I can justify. I know others may think they don't need it - I wish I didn't have to pay but as facials go, this is possibly the best I have had.

If you want to read more, check out reviews in :



Harper's Bazzar
Stylist

What's your favourite skin care product?

When to let it go...

I am just getting back into my groove after feeling like I have been out of it for a long time. I like to think I live my life how I want to and to make myself happy. I have a good job and I have great friends, so what's missing?

I am beginning to feel like, although I love my independence, I am ready to start being in a serious relationship. I currently have someone in my life who makes me happy but in the same breath I don't know where I stand. We have been together before, some time back and never really ended it. Due to jobs it just stopped. We have now been in contact long distance for at least 18 months. We are in daily contact, know each other's schedules and help one another when we have bad days. All in all it is like having a long distance relationship.

The problem comes because we aren't defined. In this day and age do you have to define yourselves? Normally I would say just focus on being happy. But now I am in this situation I know that is not the easiest thing to do. What we have verges on amazing but that small definition of 'us' shatters any kind of amazing situations. I am being patient but I am starting to feel confused.

Confused is not a good feeling...especially after I have just described it as amazing. But now, I am feeling like I need to have some kind of clarity. I don't want to be the girl waiting around while the guy waits because they are both scared to make some kind of move. How do I broach the subject? How do I talk about 'us' without seeming like I want kids and marriage? They are so far from my mind right now, right now I just need to know if I should dedicate time to trying to make it work or do I just let it go?

I know the old,  'If it's meant to be it will be' notion will be on many of your minds right now. However, it is not something I can rely on. I feel like time has passed and now I am feeling clearer in my own mind about myself I finally need to get some clarity on this situation. I have also come to find little solice in that statement after what has happened last year.

Like a good friend of mine, I am facing an all or nothing situation. I feel like I need to make some decisions and I don't know if I am going to like it, but surely it's better than just hanging around? We're both scared of what we have, I know that. Being scared is natural and that should be something we get past after so long.

Now it's timing, I know he has some big games coming up this weekend in hockey playoff land. Believe me, I know the stress he is going through and I won't do anything but support him, like he has during my stressful times but after that, I think we either need to let each go or try make a go of things.

What will be the outcome? Are we ready to let it go for good this time after trying a number of times in the past 18 months? Or will this be the making of it?

All I know is - something has to change. For good or bad change must come.    Any advice is more than welcome.

What a question to ask... [Source]

Work that body...

I am getting my spirit back and with that is the growing realisation that my body is so out of shape. I would not classify myself as a 'fitness freak' or even someone who MUST go to the gym every other day or I feel like crap. I enjoy exercising, I have fun and like to feel my body working.

I would say I have not had any consistent exercise routine for at least the past 8 months or so. Between travel, hospital runs, illness and just general lowness I have not felt like I had the energy to do day to day things let alone exercise. This week things are changing. I am gradually getting over the anaemia which has seen me suffer from such chronic fatigue and illnesses it was not great.

My first return to fitness? My pole dancing lessons! If you've never tried them before they are lots of fun. I have been pole dancing for a good few years now on and off. It can be a pretty brutal work out what with the potential for bruises and supporting of your own weight but I love it. My arms just respond so well and the stomach tones up pretty well too.

I can definitely tick all these bruises off... ouch! [Source]

I am going to try this for a couple weeks and then go back to yoga sessions too. Yoga will then hopefully bring a bit of calmness to me and my thoughts. Also, it gives a pretty good stretch. When I was doing yoga regularly my body became very lean which was great. Last but not least? I want to get back into my running, one step at a time but having aspirations is a good start!

If all else fails I will skip the yoga and just remember this.. [Source]

What's your favourite go to exercise?

Blog date...

I have now been blogging for over two years and still going strong. I have previously spoke about how I have made some very good friends and finally made the big step with my bestie at Forever after Undecided.

Rebecca is the type of friend every girl needs. In the past couple of years our friendship has devleoped into something more than just 'friends' we're 'best friends'. I know, adding best on to it sounds very childish but it's the best way to describe us. Last year she was there whenever I needed and sometimes when I didn't even realise I needed her. We share happiness in our lives and support each other through the bad. Here's the thing - she's in LA and I am in the UK.

We began our friendship leaving messages on each other's blogs. Then we progressed to Facebook. The next step, what's app. We would be in contact every day to the point where to not hear from one another at some point is just weird. Lately we made the next step of Skype. Don't you just love Skype? It gives us all a way to stay in contact with those we can't be around in real life. For me and Rebecca it allowed us to not only speak but also backed up the fact that we had actually found a special friendship through blogging.

If I gain nothing else, I have found a friend for life. Someone who can check me, help me and can share the same craziness. Next step, hopefully an LA rehab this Summer! Who knows?

Don't we know it? [Source]

If you want to check out her awsomeness then click below and show some blog love!