I'm still here...

So this is awkward, Ive had such a break I almost don't know how to blog anymore. I didn't make a conscious decision to step away from my blog, it just sorta happened. I was beginning to feel better and that was great, but I was still suffering from extreme fatigue and the blogging was the part which had to go.

Having been on a new set of anti-depressants since February, I can finally say I am beginning to see a massive improvement in myself and others are no noticing too. I would say within the past 5 weeks I have felt more stable and in the last 2 I have seen a improvement in my energy and mood. I can't explain how good this makes me feel, I've been on anti-depressants since September and I have suffered with clinical depression since last January without even accepting it. As well as anxiety and stress.

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Now that I am starting to feel part of life again, I can see (finally) how far I have come and the strength which I have shown. Feeling like I was making progress was something I could not do, but now I have the big step I can see it. I feel like I am in life now and not just watching it pass me by. I can't say I will be back to blogging with the frequency I once was. But I will be blogging when I feel like I can. 

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Part of getting myself better is not placing expectations on myself and then feeling disappointed when I can not meet them. As much as I love blogging, I have to apply it to this as well. All parts of my life, whether it's work, fun times, shopping etc. I have to  set boundaries. Small steps at a time.

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I hope everyone in the land of blogging is well and I look forward to getting back into things!

If you haven't already, check out my other links and follow along with me.

Find me:

twitter/bloglovin/pinterest

From the Vaults : Where the lines overlap.

While I work on getting my blogging (and life) mojo back, I thought I would take a trip down memory lane and share some of my favourite past blog posts with you all. Hopefully this will give me a kick up the rear end and remind me why I love blogging.

Today's post is one which I shared the friendship with a fellow blogger. My friendship with Rebecca at 'Forever after Undecided' (where she now blogs), is still going well and I have made more since then. This is definitly a perk of blogging - it's a special community.

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25.10.2011 : Where the lines overlap

When I started blogging I was unaware of all the friendships I would make. I have made a few very good friends who I can actually share a little bit of my 'real life me' with too. This past week I have become 'real life' friends with Rebecca who blogs over at A day in the life of a German girl.

She is a fabulous blogger and we seemed to have an instant connection in the blog world. We saw little bits of ourselves in each others posts, assured each other that 'No, you're not the only one to think that,' and lately we've began to chat in real life. Now it seems strange to use this term 'real life' because well, my blog IS real life and everything on here is true and is me. I suppose, as my titles suggest, the lines over lap somewhat. Now I see her in a blogger world and also in real time world.

In blogging we can edit and refine our words. As honest as posts are they can be censored, written in witty ways and polished. Myself and Rebecca have been able to talk and actually get each other and realise that there was a reason why we were drawn to each others blogs. We are similar, we do have the same insecurities and issues. Through talking we have bonded and I truly know that in her I have found a good friend.

I know people complain about the likes of Facebook and technology for making people more distant but in fact it's helped us to be able to form a new friendship regardless of where we actually are in the world. So it isn't all that bad now is it? 

So i just want to say that I am pleased that some of my lines have overlapped because through this I have made not just friends with Rebecca but another couple of blogger friends (Yes yes- that's you El Grande :-) and Lindsey!). 

So if you're a new blogger and you're reading this... enjoy because you are going to make some fabulous friends!

Have you made any good blog friends since entering the world of blogging?
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Do I still want to blog?

I have been thinking about blogging lately and whether I should continue or not. I feel like all my posts lately have been so down. There's being honest and there's also being downright miserable. I don't know how helpful my honesty will be. Sometimes it's just too over bearing. 

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I feel like I maybe don't have the heart for it anymore. I have lost my way in my life it feels and that is now spilling over to my blog life too. I have lost a lot of inspiration and direction. I don't really know where to go at the moment. 

I have dreams and wishes but how to strive for those is unknown to me right now. Through my therapy sessions, I am beginning to figure out ways but I still don't know how long it will take. This is in regards to career, love life and my health. In relation to my blog, I just don't know how relevant I am anymore and if I actually have any thoughts worth sharing. I may have a few little posts of inspiration over the holidays and then I will see you back in the New Year for my recap and hopefully I have gained some extra perspective then.

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What I like... gif style!

Here are a few of my favourite things... gif style!!

Chocolate - I have lost count of the number of times I have tried to lessen my intake but I always fail miserably. I crave the stuff. 

I do, I do... [Source]

Blogging - I love blogging. I get to share my thoughts and feelings with all you fabulous bloggers. I also love being able to read all your comments and reply. I have made some good friends blogging, it's a supportive community.

I love a good blog event ... [Source]

Trashy TV - I love nothing better than getting wrapped up on the sofa and watching trashy TV shows. Many people will judge TV viewing habits but I just don't care. I love some trashy TV and that's that. Breaking Amish and Honey Boo Boo anyone?

Don't we all Honey Boo Boo? [Source]

Finding things out - I have quite a thirst for information and knowledge. I like to know things. If I watch a movie, the first thing I do is go onto IMDB and read up on the actors and actresses, the trivia and message boards. If I am told something I will research all there is to know about it. 

When you gotta know, you gotta know! [Source]

Working out - I have toyed with many different types of workouts through the years. My favourites would have to be ballet, pole, boxercise and yoga. As you can see I am more of a class kinda girl. The idea of motivating myself in the gym doesn't really do it for me at all. I love to get the endorphins going and I like the challenge of new moves. 

Oh to workout like Penny... [Source]

I wanna back my azz up this week to a song which is on my favourite album of the moment - Simple Songs by The Shins (Album - Port of Morrow).

What do you like? Are there any other chocolate loving, trash tv watching, blogging, information craving, fitness fanatic out there?


Linking up with :

My blog...

I was discussing blogging with Miss Rebecca [Forever after Undecided] and topic of conversation turned to who reads our blog. I have always blogged anonymously and began to wonder why I do that. I love to blog and it helps me in so many ways but if that's the case, why do I keep this part of my life so hidden from people?

Job
In the career which I am in I have always aimed for and made sure to stay as professional as much as possible. Anything which I choose to share in public is exactly that - things I choose to share. As a teacher, I must make sure at all times to keep a professional attitude. This is not to say I am not myself, because I more 'me' than most other teachers I know which I think is one of the reason I am a favourite teacher. But in the same breath, certain aspects of my personal life are things which should stay personal. My boy dramas, health and views on life are all mine but I don't want them to be so accessible for all to see. 

The kiddies don't need to know about 'real me' ... [Source]

Honesty
It may come as a surprise to you who read my blog and have done so for the past couple of years that I actually find it very difficult to be open and honest with others face to face. I do not like to show sadness and feel like it weakens me. But here I can say my feelings and thoughts without someone scrutinising my face to see the flecks of fear or sadness or worry showing themselves. I admit this is a bit of an issue but its always been something which I have faced. Sharing my inner thoughts and feelings can be such an anxious process for me and something which I tend to shy away from wherever possible. It's reasons like this which has caused me to put up such walls. Again, I choose  what to tell people and as chatty as I am, if people care to look deep enough they will see I don't give much away at all. 

Friendship
Blogging has opened me up to a whole new world of friendships. Some people I have met through blogging are people I know read and share my life with me and a special blogger has turned into a forever friendship. I am not sure how much this would have been the case had I focused on my already friends. 

One day I may share but for the time being I like being able to have a special safe place where I know I can share my life and feelings and not have to worry about being judged. If there's one thing which I have learnt in my time of blogging it is that everyone is ready to support.

Ain't that the truth... [Source]

Who do you share your blog with?


Just a quick reminder to head over to yesterday's post for a 10% Kohl's discount code:

Click here!

Kohl's Discount Code

Today I want to share a special offer with all you guys. I was emailed by Kohl's explaining how much they enjoyed the blog and had seen a special guest post: Colour Blocking by Miss Tiffany at Pinstriped Penguin, which included an item from the Narcisco Rodriguez collection.

I have been asked to share the new collection with you all and the best part? A 10% blogger discount for all you at Kohl's online. If you ask me, there's as good as incentive as any to get shopping!

Check out the the new collection for Kohl's with the following link:

Narcisco Rodriguez at Kohl's

You'll find some fabulous items such as these:

You know what to do now, head on over to kohls.com and browse away. The code to use is: 

TENFORBLOG

 
You can use TENFORBLOG through March 9th. It can be used to stack savings with one other code as well.

What is your dream fashion item at the moment?