Experiencing 'the mean reds' - Audrey Hepburn style

Today is good day, today is the first day in about a week in which I have felt more like 'myself'. I am going to be honest and say that I am not finding this moment of my life the easiest. I am trying to find myself and deal with my 'issues'. 'Issues' is the only word which I can use to put all my problems into one place.

Last week I began to feel down again, down and tired. The off days were happening. I felt them beginning on Tuesday, I woke up feeling bad. I cried while getting ready but got dressed, put on my face and went to work. I am beginning to become easier on myself and I just deal with days as they happen. But I knew this was a step back and I was afraid and unhappy. 

I do, I really do [Source]

Wednesday saw my anxiety begin to increase and I could not pin point why this was. It just was. But once again, I kept going. Sometimes that is the only thing to do: go.

A scene from one of my favourite films explains it so well:

Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?

Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?

Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?

The blues are exactly that, blues. The reds are what I feel depression is. The reds are worse than the blues, they are a place which is difficult to get past. That was how I felt and that was how my week was going. I don't want to sound negative but there was nothing I could do but just ride it out.

Cake... yes please [Source]

Now I am back working, I can't just stay in bed. I have to keep my life going, as difficult as it can be. I would usually indulge but to be honest my appetite had pretty much gone and I was having breakfast and a bag of crisps and that was all. By the time it hit Friday, Valentine's Day, my very best friend came to visit and cheer me up. We ate pizzas and chocolate and watched The Office. When she left, I felt a bit better but was pleased to get to bed.

I had a sigh of relief when I knew it was the weekend. My mood had dropped, my concentration gone and I was ready to sleep. So after a lie in Saturday, I spent the afternoon watching hockey but the reds were still there. I gave in Saturday at 7pm and went to bed. I slept and took a sleeping pill to keep me asleep,  I hoped to sleep it off. 

If only I looked so glamourous [Source]

Sunday I felt it lifting and spent more time just quietly and visited my parents. Today I woke up, after a lie in and I felt more ready. I still feel a little blue but the reds had vanished. My fear had gone and I had a renewed sense to get working. I created my to do list and went with it. I feel like I have achieved something and went with the small steps.

Experiencing 'the reds' are not easy and it is something I have to get used to and not work against. I know it is difficult for others to understand and I also worry about how people feel being around me but it's me. I know I have a couple close friends who will support me no matter what. However, I feel like it will be difficult for a partner to deal with this and I do wonder if a guy will actually want to be with me when I have times like this. I suppose it's nothing which I can control, I can only control my own life. I am working through this and it is all still so new to me, I guess I'm doing alright. 

Have you ever experienced 'the reds'? How did you get through them?

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Having your heart broken the day before Valentine's is not fun.

Today is Valentine's Day, or as single people know it as - "Day you're made to feel like crap for being alone" Day. I am not lucky in love, I never have been. My twin met her boyfriend on a night out in Uni, 7 years later married. It was all very linear and dare I say easy. 

I on the other hand, have dated many guys, not been able to say I love you and had my heart broken at least twice. The latest time was actually yesterday. After not hearing from Mr Canadian for a couple weeks, we caught up last night and it turns out he is seeing someone casually now. This was a bit of a blow to me to be honest.

I haven't really gone into too much detail with him but we dated a few years back, kept in touch when he returned to Canada, lost touch for a year, rekindled contact and been in contact ever since so at least 2 1/2 years. It was daily contact, flirting, talking about what we would do if we visited and basically it felt like a long distance relationship. 

We both skirted round the visiting issue and as you all know I have not had the easiest couple years. So last night's revelation was pretty much a slap in the face. I don't know what I expected but I didn't expect that. Having confided in him with my depression I feel like that has made him not be as bothered about me. I know this would not be the case and in the past when I've pushed him away saying if he needs a break from me that's fine, he's always said no and persisted in keeping contact with me.

However, I am so fragile right night, that is the first thought. It upsets me and I wonder if I have just been a silly girl to read too much into things or whether I have just been 'played' ? Am I not attractive enough for him?

I don't know, all I can say is that today, the day of love, I am feeling pretty loveless in the romantic sense and having to deal with a 'faux break-up' is not easy for me. Mr Canadain does not think we need to have time away from each other and no contact because we're friends, I have explained that I am hurt and that I always thought there was something between us. I think he wants his cake and wants to eat it!

To move to a positive note, I am spending time with my girl love!! She is visiting for a night in with pizza, The Office and good chatter. I may not have a man in my life but I have amazing friends and for that I am extremely grateful!

Happy love day to you all - cherish those who give you love and support all year round.

I also want to say a BIG thank you to all those who linked up their blog! I will be visiting each and every one to find new blog buddies! I think it's definitly something I would love to do again.

Images from: Pinterest

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I heart bloggers!

I love blogging and I love making connections with new bloggers. From the beginning, the friendships and the community is what I liked. Over time I have made some great friends while blogging and I've come across some amazingly talented and strong individuals. 

Blogging isn't always easy. It takes time, patience and creativity! I often lack all three of the pre requisites. But I keep going. Most people I have connected with are lifestyle bloggers, this can be tricky sometimes because sharing your life means sharing the ups and downs. I'm not great at this but through writing I find it easier. Putting yourself, your feelings and your life out there is brave. 

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We open ourselves to judgement and comments. I have always found others to be extremely supportive which is great. We all encourage one another to get through the tough times and congratulate each other on the good times. 

Today, going with my love theme, I am sharing a handful of bloggers I love!

Rebecca at Forever after Undecided

Myself and Rebecca have been blog buddies for years now. We text, Skype, type and send cards to one another. We bitch about life, boys and work. We generally speak on a daily basis but with my issues lately I have been having a few bad days so we had less contact. To show our link, I text her at the exact same moment she emailed me. She blogs about her life in LA, family and friends in Germany and has a fabulous fashion sense! I love Rebecca for her support at my worst time. Go check her out:

Kym at Travel Babbles

What can I say about Kym? If you're on my blog, chances are you have come across Kym. She is a fabulous woman who is strong, caring and loyal. I stumbled across her blog due to the hockey link (I think her husband is a hockey player - is that right Kym?! haha). But there is so much more to this woman. Kym is one of THE most honest bloggers you will find. From blog stealer's, to her wedding, to the pains life brings, to the constant moving - she gives it all. Oh, and she also shares pictures of her beautiful Brutus (her dog friend!).Kym is another who has supported me through the tough times.... and online stalker! Kym- you are amazing girl! Keep going and stay strong! 

Sarah at Venus Trapped in Mars

Sarah is hilarious. I could leave it at that but I won't. It may sound like I am selling her short (I'm not - seriously, read her blog and you will figure that out). Sarah is another girl, who like me, loves sports but also loves being that bit girly! You want to know about Football? Go to her, funny and factual. Sarah is also on the healthy bandwagon with me. I like have a little Twitter conversation with Miss Sarah too - witty witty!

Hockey Wife at A Day in the Life of a Hockey Wife

Hockey Wife is back and I for one am pleased! Hockey Wife was one of my very first followers and very first blogs on my reading list. After a hiatus she's back and I love it. She is hilarious and just has a sweet family. She's also a busy Momma and boy does she work hard which is just as amazing to read about. Settling in Germany for her husband's career the last two seasons has not been the easiest but shes handled it all in her stride. So now, she's back- check out her blog for posts about her life and pictures of her adorable little ones!

Becky at United States of Becky

Becky is amazing, she is someone who also is going through a tough time like myself but pulls herself up and keeps going. Becky always supports me and I am so excited to follow her 'being brave' journey right now. She is a fighter and if there's anything which impresses me, it is someone who fights. Becky is witty and intelligent and you will find posts about her thoughts and feelings. I love that she puts her opinion out there and it is what it is. Hop on over and see her fabulous posts!

Link up your blog below for us to visit and Let's spread some blog love this week! I always love to find new blogs!

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Take All Chances - Bloglovin'

What is love?

The word love is used all the time in day to day conversations. But sometimes, that 4 letter word can have quite an effect on a person. Especially in the romance sense.

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 Those 4 words can be a pleasure to hear or just knock you for six and lead to heartbreak.

When I asked the kids in my class last year, 'What is love?' before my sister's wedding, a couple responses were:
"When you don't date anyone else."
"When you go out to restaurants and hold hands."

Both very sweet responses and to be honest, both are aspects of love. Love to me is many different things all in one. I don't think it is easy to explain and lots of things relating to love are feelings and not tangible or things which can be seen. 

I have never been the best person accepting love. I am the type of person who freaks out when I know someone is getting close and I push away. Why? I am not really sure. I love the closeness of love, that feeling that you have someone you can talk to anything about, who supports you and who you can just have fun with. But when I start to feel close I push the person away by acting distant or just becoming panicked. This is where love takes on a personal meaning to me, it means to keep supporting me and not allow me to push you away. I don't mean this in a selfish give, give, give way. Just a give me time and show me I can trust. My closeness issues in love come from not trusting and expecting someone to walk away. However, once I trust someone I am 100% in it (friendships and love).

Ok...if you insist [Source]

To me, being in love is going out and about, spending nights on the sofa watching rubbish tv and still having fun, being able to support one another through good and bad and obviously having great chemistry. I've had a fair few bad times of late and I think having had someone by my side, it may have been somewhat easier to go through the changes in my life. But it has made me stronger and dertermined to find someone who is right for me.

If you're looking for love, I hope you do... [Source]

I am happy for love and ready for love but I won't be jumping in to anything! I want to know it's right and I want to know the person is someone who is honest and I can trust. I am quite the nurturer and I give so much I would like to find someone who doesn't use that to their advantage. 

I am not sure I have even answered my own question at the end of this? What about you - do you have thoughts on what love is? I would love to read your comments!

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Valentine's for the whole family!

Today is the start of 'Love Week' here at Take All Chances. With Valentine's Day at the end of the week I thought I would do some posts about love this week. Today's post is something which I have worked on with a contact regarding ways to celebrate Valentine's with the whole family! After all, love goes between the whole family and to show them love and spend time with them is a perfect treat!

Enjoy!

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3 Valentine’s Day Activities Your Whole Family Will Love

Valentine’s isn’t just about spending time with the person you love.  It is also about bonding with your kids and teaching them how important it is to appreciate and love their family.  By helping to challenge their minds and helping them get some exercise with fun Valentine’s themed games, you will not only be able to bond during the day as a family, but as they pass out from all of the fun, you get to enjoy your significant other at night.   

1. A Valentine’s Day Scavenger Hunt with Themed Clues

In a Valentine’s Day scavenger hunt, you’ll have your children searching for red heart-shaped clues that lead them to a fun activity and prize for the whole family.  First, assign each of your children his or her favorite cartoon or movie character- this will serve as the theme of your child’s scavenger hunt.  Write each of their first clues on a Valentine’s card featuring their assigned characters.  Many drugstores carry inexpensive movie- and television-inspired Valentine’s cards, or you can make your own using free Valentine’s Day cartoon printables from the internet.  Include a letter with the first clues explaining that their character has lost something he or she loves and needs your child’s help finding it.  Make sure to put your children’s first clues somewhere they won’t be able to miss, such as their bedroom doors or bathroom mirror. 

On the rest of the clues, include objects that are important to each of your children’s characters but are not what that character loves and is searching for.  If you’re using Aladdin, you can include a magic carpet on one clue and a genie lamp on another, but don’t include Princess Jasmine until the very end.  Make sure that your children’s clues always lead to the same locations throughout the hunt.  This way, they can brainstorm and work together in finding their next clues. What can be more fun for a parent than seeing their children work together!  

Once your children arrive at their final destination, glue a picture of what each of their individual characters have been searching for all along.  Leave a letter explaining that as a reward for working together, you’ll do a fun activity as a family later that evening.  This can be as simple as eating dinner at your children’s favorite restaurant or watching a movie together in new Valentine’s Day pajamas that your children can find as a prize for finishing the scavenger hunt.

Oh so pretty and cute! [Source]

2. “You’ve Melted My Heart” Pictionary

You’ve Melted My Heart Pictionary is a fun and simple Valentine’s guessing game that can help your whole family to be creative and have a blast. To begin, place water in heart-shaped ice cube trays, and add red food coloring to the water.  (If you don’t own a heart-shaped ice tray, you can find them at a local dollar store or very inexpensively on sites like Amazon.)  Have everyone write words or phrases on little strips of paper, and place the strips of paper in a bowl. The key to Valentine’s Pictionary is to relate all of the notes to Valentine’s Day or love. For example, one of the notes can say “Cupid’s arrow,” while others could say “secret admirer,” “initials carved into a tree,” or “Valentine’s Day candy.”  

Once the ice-shaped hearts have frozen, you’re ready to begin playing!  Have someone randomly pick a note out of the bowl.  Then, drop an ice heart into a container of warm water.  Whoever’s turn it is to be the artist can only draw for as long as the ice-heart has not completely melted.  When the ice has melted, it is up to the rest of the family to yell, “You’ve melted my heart!” and then have someone else take a turn being the artist.  Whenever someone guesses what the artist has drawn correctly, both that person and the artist get a point.  That way, everyone will do their best to draw the words or phrases well and guess correctly!  

The only way to play! [Source]

3. Heart-Shaped Baking and Valentine’s Day Cake Decorating

Having your children help you to bake and decorate mini heart-shaped cakes or a large Valentine’s Day family cake can be a lot of fun, especially since they’ll get to eat what they create!  While you’re baking, an adult must be present to supervise and make sure that children do not handle knives, use the oven, or use or touch anything that is hot, as this may be dangerous.

There are two ways you can create heart-shaped cakes.  The first, which is easier, is to have your children help you bake a large cake and then use a heart-shaped cookie cutter to cut out smaller cakes.  The second method is to use a large square pan and small, springform cylindrical cheesecake or cupcake pans.   If you are using this method, take the square cake and cut it into even squares.  The diagonal across the square should be the same size as the diameter of the cupcake or circle.  Next, slice each circular cake in half and place two half circles on two sides of the square on the top to form a heart.  

No matter if you choose to make mini-heart shaped cakes or a large Valentine’s Day family cake, having your kids help you to pour bake mix into the pan and decorate cake with Valentine’s Day candies, Hershey Kisses, and cute sayings like “Be Mine” or “I love you” can be a ton of fun for your children.  Make sure that everyone initials their mini-heart cakes or their slices of the Valentine’s Day family cake so you can take a picture of everyone’s creations before you begin eating! 

Yes please! [Source]

Valentine’s Day can be a wonderful opportunity to share special moments with your family.  By making a Valentine’s Day scavenger hunt, playing Your Melting My Heart Pictionary, or enjoying Valentine’s Day baking together, you can create activities that your whole family will love.  With these activities, you can help your family to grow closer and make Valentine’s Day special for everyone.  

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I don't know about you, but I love baking so heart shaped cakes is definitly a winner for me!

Have you got plans for the whole family this Valentine's? 

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