Good days, bad days and the inbetween.

As I have previously stated, accepting depression in my life has been one of the hardest things I have personally had to deal with. Since allowing that realisation into my life, I have slowed down my pace and began to look after myself more. I am still not quite able to relax from work and I am constantly dreaming about the place in my time off from there but at least I am away from it while I sort my head out.

Taking anti-depressants are exactly how your read about - living hell for the first few weeks. They made everything heightened. My stress and anxiety went through the roof. My hands would shake and appetite totally went. Reading up on the tablets, I seem to have had it easier than others which is definitely lucky! But it didn't make me feel any better about the constant drowsiness I was encountering alongside everything else.

On my good days I wake up and feel ready to tackle the day. I am not saying I am superwoman and ready to buzz about like I used to but I fee like I can deal. I complete small tasks about the house and go out. I am happy, I feel like things are going in the right direction.

Oh, but that's not allowed. Depression and anti-depressants taunt and the next day ... bam! It's a down day. What do my down days look like? Well, I wake early then doze till about 9. Then I lay in bed till 2pm, awake, but just unable to leave my bed. I lie and think of the things I need to and should be doing but I can't move regardless. Then I realise that I must get some food so drag myself out of bed, grab a bowl of cereal then take up residence on the sofa. Now what? Watch TV for an hour, turn it off and sleep until 6pm. Make a cup of tea, grab a quick bite to eat. Watch more TV then go to bed.

Keep going [Source]

Then there are the in between days. When I doze till mid-day, get up and potter about the house with the intentions of doing things. Watch TV and don't nap. Make myself a healthy dinner then later have a nice bubble bath. But still I am not able to get up and go out but i am happy with own co0mapny and my head isn't too foggy.

This is now coming up to my 4th week on the tablets and I am not so sure I am seeing much of change but I think that is partly due to how bad they set me back. I am persisting because I know these will help me and allow me to cope and work through my feelings. But my goodness, they sure don't make it easy!

Maybe  I should be using this time to look at changes? [Source]

Any advice how to stay positive during these tough times?   Find me: twitter/bloglovin/pinterest/instagram