Thank you...

Today is Thanksgiving in the States, however that doesn't mean I can't take some time to be thankful over here in the UK. After the year I have had, I feel like there is not too much I can feel thankful. Losing my brother has had a negative impact on my positive nature. However, today I have been thinking how much I actually have to be thankful for in amongst all this mess. 

My family have been amazing, I have seen strength in them and support. It is sometimes hard for me to think that others are feeling the pain I am (which I know is an awful thing to say) but then I see their faces and look into their eyes. It hits me that they are feeling the same as me and that they too are trying to be strong and brave. We have supported one another and helped each other through this tough time.

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I know in the past I have complained about my work and how I feel undervalued. This year I have changed year groups - again - but for the better and have felt so supportive throughout the past couple of months. My phase group have made me smile, counselled me and calmed me. I have tried to throw myself back into work, last week proved extremely hard with this however, with their help I am settling back in again.

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What I have found difficult to understand is the differing actions from my friends. I understand people are all different and have their own reaction to friend's grief but some of my friend's responses have surprised me both good and bad. I have had support from friends far away and those who I have had daily texts from and messages from. On of my good friends came straight to me when I told her which I needed. I don't like people asking me to let them know if I need anything because I feel like I am being demanding or asking them to do something they don't want to do. When in reality, all I want is someone to come and sit with me and talk to me. However, now I have put a guard up and pushed many friends away from me.

In my life I have health, friends and family. What more could I want? That's what we all need around us.  What or who are you giving thanks for?