I was out for Miss Faux Fur's sisters birthday last night and it was pretty much a non starter....
We went for food which took agggeeesssss!!!! Then went on to a bar where the 'peacocking' began.
Peacocking: defined as - Men acting in a way to gain the attention of females.
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| 'How you doin..?' |
I am sure you will all be aware of this and have either seen it in action or worse, been on the receiving end.
Bar 1:
I encountered an Italian man who did not understand the concept of no. He was trying to buy me a shot which I politely declined, then he asked again, again, again and well ..you get where this is going to. After declining it many times, he then proceeded to buy them for him, his mates and me and Miss Faux Fur. Again, I had to repeat no many many times. Was he stupid?! N.O! As we were leaving he then grabbed my hand as said, "You're gorgeous! Do you have a boyfriend? Can I have your number? I want to text you and ask you out?"
ARGGHHH!!! "Yes I have a boyfriend and no you can't have my number." As you know fine well I am single but it seemed the easiest way out.
Peacocking- Spending money, compliments and domination. No thank you! I can buy my own drinks, decide what I want to drink and I don't want someone who doesn't comprehend the word no.
Bar 2:
This was just filled me men who thought leering at you while dancing towards you was going to get them laid.
Peacocking- dancing and 'appreciative' stares. Note to THAT type of man...learn to dance and don't look like you are going to pass out. Not attractive.
Club:
Well, this was the ultimate peacocking location. For once this club seemed to be full of men. It seemed like it was a 10:1 ratio of men to woman!Due to this, the whole element of competition meant the men had to up their game if they wanted us woman to notice them. In fact, it did make us notice them but we noticed how much of an idiot they were!! Why men think it's acceptable to grab and paw women, grind against them and quite frankly pester them is beyond me. There is nothing worse. As Miss Faux Fur said, "It was like everywhere we moved around in our circle there was some man trying to grind up against us." This unfortunately was true. I was also stopped by some man who just came out with, " You're lovely. I love you. Want to dance?" I wish I was joking but I 'm not.
Peacocking- Grinding, bumping, grabbing, feeling and shouting. Never ever grab me, grind against me or shout at me. I DON'T LIKE IT!!
All in all we came home feeling quite worn out after all the avoidance strategies put into place. I just don't know what was us last night but I felt like I was in an episode of Jersey Shore and expected it to all kick off at some point.
I like men to be assertive but in the way that they actually greet you with 'Hi' and just chat..call me old fashioned but I find that much nicer than being felt up.There's a difference between being confident and being an utter twat and it is quite a large line so surely it's not hard for men to not cross!
Plea to men out there: If you want to speak to me, do just that...speak. I don't need you to buy me drinks as I have my own money, I don't need you to feel me up or try and be clever. I just need you to be yourself. You might be surprised at how well I react! Put away those feathers and you will stand out more than any other guy in the place.
Image from stockxchng
Image from stockxchng
3 comments:
Haha is that what it's called? I didn't know there was a term for guys being creeps. I just thought the words used to describe them were unrepeatable.
However I do feel your pain on this one, I went out last night and couldn't believe the number of idiots out. Every bar we went to there seemed to be a new group of twats around. So much so that when I politely declined a guy's proposition and then sat back in my seat and was sending a text message and I got thrown out of a bar because the guy made up a complete lie about me saying I punched him in the face. What a joke, especially if you could see the size of me.
oh man i know how it is.
usually my tactic is to stare right back at these guys coming towards me ad shake my head 'no' and give them the "are you f'real" or the "bitch please" face in the process.
its usually worked for me unless they're really drunk and feeling confident haaha
As a man, I can tell you that I agree with so much of what you have written. I can't stand guys who 'peacock' or otherwise use excuses to act like total douches. They give all of us a bad reputation, and it's also demoralizing because unfortunately, not all of the world is as enlightened as you are...you'd be surprised how often these tactics work. It's really a shame.
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