You are enough.

You are important, don't forget that. Caring for others is important but if you don't care for yourself, or praise yourself you will find things difficult. Earlier in the week I wrote about saying nice things to yourself. Today I want you to be kind to yourself and accept things can go wrong, change, be amazing then not so good. 

I made a decision out of my pure stubborn attitude a couple days ago and I knew this was not good for me. I felt like I had to prove something to myself, that I didn't need any anti-depression medication at all. But deep down I realised I wasn't doing this for me, I was doing it for those who say we shouldn't use medication, those who don't believe in depression being 'bad' and it turns out I was just hurting myself.

By the time last night night came I was out of it, I was shaking and dizzy and feeling downright awful. I sat and thought - What the hell am I doing this for? Why am I putting myself through this for others? I am important and this is certainly not helping me. So I decided to get back onto them and quite frankly screw anyone who thinks I shouldn't be taking them. If I want to stop I will do it the safe way and consult my doctor. 

You [Source]

We have nothing to prove to others, we need to prove things to ourself and do what is best for our health and life. I made a rash decision, it made me realise that I still have my fight in me but that I need to do it for me and no one else.

Have you ever made a rash decision and then realised you weren't doing it for you?

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When to let it go...

I am just getting back into my groove after feeling like I have been out of it for a long time. I like to think I live my life how I want to and to make myself happy. I have a good job and I have great friends, so what's missing?

I am beginning to feel like, although I love my independence, I am ready to start being in a serious relationship. I currently have someone in my life who makes me happy but in the same breath I don't know where I stand. We have been together before, some time back and never really ended it. Due to jobs it just stopped. We have now been in contact long distance for at least 18 months. We are in daily contact, know each other's schedules and help one another when we have bad days. All in all it is like having a long distance relationship.

The problem comes because we aren't defined. In this day and age do you have to define yourselves? Normally I would say just focus on being happy. But now I am in this situation I know that is not the easiest thing to do. What we have verges on amazing but that small definition of 'us' shatters any kind of amazing situations. I am being patient but I am starting to feel confused.

Confused is not a good feeling...especially after I have just described it as amazing. But now, I am feeling like I need to have some kind of clarity. I don't want to be the girl waiting around while the guy waits because they are both scared to make some kind of move. How do I broach the subject? How do I talk about 'us' without seeming like I want kids and marriage? They are so far from my mind right now, right now I just need to know if I should dedicate time to trying to make it work or do I just let it go?

I know the old,  'If it's meant to be it will be' notion will be on many of your minds right now. However, it is not something I can rely on. I feel like time has passed and now I am feeling clearer in my own mind about myself I finally need to get some clarity on this situation. I have also come to find little solice in that statement after what has happened last year.

Like a good friend of mine, I am facing an all or nothing situation. I feel like I need to make some decisions and I don't know if I am going to like it, but surely it's better than just hanging around? We're both scared of what we have, I know that. Being scared is natural and that should be something we get past after so long.

Now it's timing, I know he has some big games coming up this weekend in hockey playoff land. Believe me, I know the stress he is going through and I won't do anything but support him, like he has during my stressful times but after that, I think we either need to let each go or try make a go of things.

What will be the outcome? Are we ready to let it go for good this time after trying a number of times in the past 18 months? Or will this be the making of it?

All I know is - something has to change. For good or bad change must come.    Any advice is more than welcome.

What a question to ask... [Source]