Let old acquaintance be forgot ..

So... it’s a New Year. This is the time for resolutions, change, new challenges...in effect a new you. Ha..yeah right!! I already have, in my own mind, went down the path of.. “Well, I’ll start tomorrow...just another half hour... one more day won’t hurt”. It’s not just me who is unable to make the change.. in the words of a fellow FB friend:

 “New Year resolutions r goin to hav to start on the 3^rd”

Should I feel guilty that others too have as much (or in my case NONE) self restraint as myself? As a comment to the status points out: “You will never start ahaha”. Now if there is any truth banded about at New Year this is it. The only clarification needed is to visit a gym 1^st week of January and then a month later...I rest my case!

Since there is no way (and I wouldn’t want to as there are some things I like about myself thank you very much) I will become a new person in 2011, surely reflecting on my 2010 is a positive step to improving my life. After browsing the net I found a rather clever temple for the year past. I found it when reading a rather witty and extremely interesting blog called The Noisiest Passenger (loved the snow film!!). It certainly required reflection and I actually found it difficult from the very first thought of ‘I have gained.’ This in itself set off warning bells...was my year really that crap?! Did I really not have anything positive to show?! But it did its job and it made me think long and hard about my year and finally all these thoughts popped into my mind which lead to smiles. Anyway, here is my reflection to share:

My 2010 Inventory

In 2010, I gained a new nephew, some close friends, passion and desire for change.

I lost passion, HB* and confidence.

I stopped pole dancing.

I started yoga.

I was hugely satisfied by my summer holiday and dance exams.

And frustrated by not being able to let go.

I am so embarrassed that I was honest.

Once again, I was unable to keep emotions in check.

Once again, I helped friends as much as I could.

The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is I’m slimmer (not a good thing however since its all emotion related boo!).

The biggest psychological difference between me last December and this December is that I have moments of unhappiness all because I can’t let go.

I loved my nights out with friends and family gatherings.

Why did I spend even two minutes letting words of others hurt me?

I should have spent more time in silence and reflecting.

I regret not being honest and forthright with feelings.

I will never regret the add.

I think and talk way too much.

I didn’t challenge myself nearly enough.

HB nearly drove me crazy.

The most relaxing place I went was Miami Beach.

Why did I not believe in myself?

The best thing I did for someone else was support and talk through problems. I tried hard to make others smile when they were down.

The best thing I did for myself was begin to slowly think about myself first.

The best thing someone did for me was to inspire a change in my lifestyle for trying new things, visiting new places, finding passion and wanting to have an adventure.

The one thing I’d like to do again, but do it better, is start and carry on a relationship successfully.

(Fill-in-the-blank template from Mary Schmich at The Chicago Tribune)

* He who shall not be named!

As you can see, it’s rather obvious a relationship was the epicentre of my 2010 and if measuring on the Richter scale would be way up to the 10 in terms of good and bad aspects. The letting go is going slow but I’m thinking 2011 will be ‘the year’ where I turn it around. Is this one of those empty New Year positive thoughts? Yes...maybe...I don’t know. I suppose one day at a time. All I do know is that my new challenge starts here... I will blog and share my life, thoughts, ups and downs. Let’s hope I won’t struggle with what I gained this time next year! 

Snow, snow, snow....favourite weather day of 2010!