5 reasons why I love being a woman!

Today is International Woman's Day so I thought I would share some reasons why I love being a woman. It is not always easy to be a woman but it can definitely be fun!

1: I can cry when I want 
Emotions - the bain of my life sometimes but I love that I can let them go and just cry sometimes. As woman, we are sometimes berated for showing feelings and we're made to feel like we should lock things up inside. No. We shouldn't. We feel emotions and we should let them go. 

2: Who did what?
We gossip, we bitch but what would being a woman be if we didn't do it. I am not talking about the nasty stuff. It's just those rants you have with your best friends where you put the world to rights. I also know men who when they are with woman comment how much they love to have a little gossip session. Men are laughed at but women, we are made to share news. At the end of the day, there was a show all about gossip - it's ok. We can do it and feel fine.

3: Makeup
Where would I be without the invention of make up? Holed up in my home more than likely. For years I suffered with bad skin and only the use of makeup helped me become confident to go out. If Cleopatra wore makeup, I can and I can be happy to wear it. I don't care if it 'hides' me or men think I look better 'natural'. I love doing m eyes and finding new products and feeling pretty. Who doesn't like that right?

4: Glitter, sequins, short skirts, long skirts, halter, crop...
Clothes! I love clothes, however materialistic that sounds. New shoes are a weakness of mine but I am picky so will not go to crazy. Shopping for clothing as a woman we have so many choices and options out there. We can match our outfits to our moods, shoes or just choose something because it looks downright awesome. I will wear what I want and what I feel comfortable in. But still, as I trawl through my wardrobes I hear myself saying, "I've nothing to wear."

5: I am always right and never really fine. 
We, as women, have our own language. Do we mean what we're saying? Yes we do, but maybe we don't? You'll never really know. I sit with my friends and I can read everyone of them. Sit with a group of men and they never quite know where they are, they just always know I am right. Being so open  showing our emotions, sometimes words are the only thing we can use to protect us. So go ahead, ask me if I really am 'fine' today.

What do you love about being a woman?

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Crashing down to reality.

Lately I have been feeling a lot better in myself which is great. Maybe it is something to do with my summer holidays - teacher perks - or maybe things are just getting better.

At least that is what I thought. I have found my sleeping patterns starting to dwindle again, my insomnia is coming back bad. I can be super tired but unable to sleep and calm my mind. I have tried all sorts, baths before bed, soothing candles, busy days but nothing is working. I have found my breathing difficult too, I have a tightness in my chest which just makes me struggle. I find this frustrating.

I have been working hard on my fitness routine lately and upped my pole routines to 2 hours a week as well as peppering in short home workouts. I have had some awesome sessions and I am really starting to feel the benefit. I have not tried another exercise (and I have done many) which tones my body in the way which pole does. But today I have had a bad session when just things weren't going my way. I can't get my new move, I am aching from the session but not in a good way.

This whole feeling is starting to remind me of my lower iron days. I know my levels have not dropped as low as they were but they have dropped again. This is what concerns me, I hope this is not the start of the slippery slope back to where I was. I don't know how I can manage this but I will try. I feel alone with it all, I can't describe the feeling I have with the fatigue and the brain fog. It's difficult.Short post today from me, and not the most up beat but I'm just having a few of those days.

How I feel about now... trying to keep it together. [Source]

How do you pick yourself up when your feeling down? Any advice would be good!

I. Love. You.

Those are the 3 words to sum up this day. It's a day of red, hearts, roses and grand gestures. If you're single it's a day to have blinders on and a fake smile :-) Whether you're happy being single or not if you're single then it seems like you are doing something illegal just being outside of the house. Have you given/received a card?! No.... :-o tut tut!! As you get older the judgement seems to change to more of a pity.... Have you given/received a card? No.... Aw, I'm sure someone is out there for you. Urgh- both annoy me. 

I find the notion of love an amazing thing and when you find it I can only but assume it is akin to finding the most perfect pair of shoes you have been searching for for ages, then you look after said pair of shoes and they become the most prized possession of your wardrobe for life. You sometimes just look at said shoes with amazement that they belong to you. Obviously in human terms this equates to life long devotion, care and a fuzzy feeling every time you look at the love of your life (I am in way saying that I actually believe love is like a fabulous pair of shoes but surely it can't be far off ;-)- I'm single...give me a break haha)

If you've lost 'love' (as you know I am trying to believe if it ends then it wasn't love) then today is quite possibly one of the worst days of the year. All around there are hearts and romance when all you want to do is be with someone you can't and cry because you can't. As dramatic as that sounds, it's kinda true. I mean, imagine the worst heartbreak and then imagine that heartbreak when you're in a room surrounded by happy hearts and 'perfect' couples... yea it sucks doesn't it?

Now I'm not against Valentines Day and I don't feel as strong a dislike as some other single people do for it but I just wish it was more of a holistic love day. I sat in my school assembly today looking at all the smiling kids as my head teacher talked about the notion of if you love someone then tell them. Words are important and that can be one of the best things for someone to hear, whether they are a friend, a parent or anyone else. It's not just 'romantic' relationships. People have so much love for others but are seen as forward if they profess their love for anyone other than a lover or immediate family. I think love should be for everyone, not just coupled up people.

As a single girl to all you people who read my blog...thank you and I love you for taking the time to read, comment and follow. It makes me feel happy that you appreciate what I have to say and I hope you have all had a Happy Valentines.

!SMILE!

I'm going to leave you with two things:

Firstly- My little gifts from two of the kids in my class for Valentines Day. This put a smile on my face to begin the day.

Chocolate hearts and a heart biscuit...how sweet.

Secondly- A great love song with a tinge of sadness and longing...

Enjoy!

I'm lost but I'm hopeful...

Today has been one of those days...the type where nothing goes wrong but you end it by feeling particularly wound up and frustrated. The weekend didn't set me up the best but that's a continual issue which isn't going to just vanish. Work has just been one thing after another and this year I have extra responsibilities for co-ordinating different things in school which are quite demanding. I am also in the process of applying for a teaching job abroad (boooo C.V's!!)! Soooo all in all there's a lot of stuff for teeny me to be dealing with. To just make my day sound even better....yes you will be jealous...I spent my lunch time in the PE cupboard tidying it up since no-one in my school understands what boxes and shelves are for!Told you you'd be jealous haha!!

After the special day which I had I came home to work and work and work ..... I was just about to continue with my CV and I turned a music channel on. The song which came on was a favourite of mine but one which doesn't instantly spring to mind when I need a pick me up. I found myself singing along and actually SMILING to it!! The song was by Alanis Morissette called 'Hand in My Pocket'.

I kinda like to think that the whole song is about this:

Life throws crap at you, you don' really know what to do, you struggle, you cry, you feel good, you feel bad and confused BUT everyone is the same. To quote:

"And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet"

Does that just not sound the best life lesson ever?! It's all gonna be fine and honestly those people who look together and fine really don't get it either. To be honest I don't think we ever get it...maybe your last moment on Earth you get this blinding moment of reality and think..."Ahh so this is what it was all about?"

If you've never heard the song please take a listen- it's amazing! 

The L Word

I was out with Miss Hockey last night or a game and drinking session. When we got home (at a reasonably late hour haha) we had the usual pizza and crisps to satisfy our alcohol hunger! Conversation drifted to my love life (or lack of at the moment) and my last relationship last year.Once again we reached the conclusion that we just couldn’t fathom the whole thing out. Then I asked the question:

“Why can’t I get over it?”

It was then that she hit me with something no one has said before about the relationship:

“You’re in love with him...”

I stopped. Thought. Shook my head. No way- it was a short relationship, I didnn’t get closure and there was no way I was IN LOVE with him. Was I? She carried on and actually she was right...I just didn’t/don’t want to admit it as I feel like stupid for it. Why should I love someone who I don’t see. To be honest the whole thing just makes me feel sad and embarrassed that it didn’t work so to think it’s love that I have makes me even more tragically sad and angry. But after 10 months what else could it be? I’ve tried chatting to other people and even turned a date down and when asked again a week later thought why not but it just wasn’t what I wanted.

This post may sound like I’m feeling sorry for myself but I’m not, I’m just confused and I’ve been made to see that I love someone who isn't my Mr Right and now hopefully I can start the healing of my broken heart. I want and need to work this thing out and need to do it soon.

Any fellow broken hearts? Or any advice on how to mend and stitch up a broken heart?