The 'C' word...

Today's post has been in my mind for a week or so now. As you know I have been going through a tough time and I now feel ready to share. 

I thought I knew pain and hurt. 

Just over a week ago I heard news I never thought I'd hear. My brother has Cancer. Yes, that awful thing which just eats away and grows.

He had been generally unwell for some time and been in hospital for a few days before a sacn which showed something. Then the hospital confirmed that the tumour found was indeed cancerous. It's so strange because you hear the statistics banded about and somewhere in the back of your mind you think it wont affect you.

When it does, it's such a strange feeling to hear something so bad and not be able to do anything about it. He's my older brother and anyone with older brothers know that they are tough. Needless to say I have taken a lot of things on my shoulder and felt like I should be able to do more and that I should be stronger and that the tears should stop. That took about a week and a half to work my way through and now I'm in the place where I can talk about it without crying and more logically.

Next week will be his operation to remove it and then following that chemotherapy. After that the doctors are very confident that things will be fine. It's gonna be a hell of a battle but one he's ready for and all the family are backing him with.

I hope anyone who has suffered or known someone close to them who has suffered from cancer keeps their fight going.

"Cancer is not a death sentence, but rather it is a life sentence; it pushes one to live," Marcia Smith.

Quote of the Day Monday...

I've been going through a bit of a tough time right now and feel this is something to keep me holding on. Hope it helps some of you too.

Quote of the Day Monday...

 

 I think today's quote speaks for itself... I think this is something we should all keep in our mind when we have choices to make. Go for it!

Working hard...

My mind lately has been so career focused it's unreal. If I look back a couple of years ago I was juts plodding along, working and living. Now I don't know what has happened but I have this career addiction somewhat. I have seemingly, in the last year or so, decided that I want to go above and beyond being a 'regular teacher' and take on other responsibilities.

The turning point? I think it was heart break. The usual focus on something else to get your mind to change its focal point. So, from about last January I began to view my career very differently. I began working harder at the things I was given to do (above and beyond harder) and angling for more opportunities. Since the start of this academic year in September, I have taken on more responsibilities than I thought I ever would in my 5th year of teaching. I have this drive to succeed and be high up in what I do. 

Lately I have begun the uphill battle of working in international schools. As usual, I have been very controlled in this. I haev exacty in my mind where I want to be and that is my one focus, no other schools or offers could sway me. The idea of such a challenge is not only exciting but something which I think I would adapt to and enjoy. Being given the opportunity to teach in a different environment and work alongside other great teachers is something which I would love. Now I have to work even harder to get my CV sparkling.

It sometimes shocks me when I look at my determination for this. I often wonder if I am still trying to fill a void which I feel can be achieved by this? Or if it is a case of proving that I can do something even better than imagined? I don't know .... however I do know that I have a fighting spirit in me which is beginning to show. Who knows maybe this year I will be blogging about a big move? I just have this feeling something big will be happening and I'm excited to see what is in store...

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Have you ever had a moment which led to a change in career work eithic or dream?

Feeling valued...

If you've read my blog for some time you will know that one of my biggest stresses in life is my job. I'm a teacher and that brings so many different ways to feel stressed. In my job I believe that we are expected to be another caregiver in the lives of someones child. Parents expect so much out of teachers and rightly so, they are putting their precious bundle of joy in my hands for more than half the week. However, some parents see us not as educators but as nanny's. This is also the view of many people I come across who, when they know I'm a teacher, are quick to remark how long my holidays are or how my working day finishes at 3.00. How little do they know... as of late I have been working till 12 most nights and through my lunch break, leaving school at 6pm. Even when this is said, I still get the same old response..." But you get all your holidays." At that point I just walk away before I lose my cool.

Now while this is bad, it gets even worse because as a teacher you are constantly critiqued on your job performance against statistics and standards by fellow professionals. In particular, the headteacher! But, lately I have been getting on extremely well with mine. I have reached a point where I feel appreciated and valued at work and I can't tell you how much a change this makes to my general feeling at work. 

Today I discussed jobs and the idea of working in international schools (one of my choices to make) and she replied with, "I'm not writing you a reference. I can't let you leave here..." as her face dropped. This reaction was something which actually made me feel proud. Proud that not only does she think I'm a good teacher but also that she is willing to tell me that. By giving me that praise I not only feel happy but also more enthusiastic about my job. I know I'm doing well and that she appreciates it. She will help me without a doubt with my applications but just to know I'm wanted at my current school was enough to put a smile on my face.

Do you feel appreciated at work and how is it shown?