Over the past weeks I have gradually been improving. Most times when I have the off days I feel like everything is so bad but then a new day comes and I feel better. I am starting to realise these off days are less. The funny thing is that I almost didn't realise I was getting better. I had become so used to and perhaps comfortable with the feeling of darkness and numbness. Now when I laugh I sometimes stop myself like it's the wrong thing to be doing, when really it's something I should feel proud of. To come from the darkness I have is bloody hard work and that is something I need to give myself credit for.
I am starting to see how badly I treated myself, thinking I didn't deserve things. Punished myself in gruelling work situations and pushed till I literally broke. I was not me, I couldn't recognise myself now looking back. It took, probably till now, since the beginning of the year till I have realised that I need to make some positive changes in my life and start to actually respect myself. I believe this experience has been dealt to me in order for me to learn and figure some things out.
Have you ever felt a difficult time was sent to you in order to teach you something?
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