Today is my first post back into my quote of the week. I have also included a link up after my post if any of you fabulous bloggers would like to share a quote too.
“You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy to say you believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to cord a box. But suppose you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn't you then first discover how much you really trusted it?...Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief.”
C.S Lewis
The idea of belief is something which many people have many different feelings and thoughts on. Lately, my belief has been tested, hurt me and inspired me. How do we know what to have belief in?
In my mind, belief is a feeling of hope. A feeling which makes you think you can somehow have things happen which you want to simply because you have 'belief' in in. I always thought that through this things would be fine. Until it was tested.
My belief in things with my brother did not happen, in fact quite the opposite. I spent many nights lying awake wondering why? Questioning my ability to believe - surely if I had believed enough in him getting better he would've right? I guess it was belief in myself and my abilities which were tested.
As time has passed I am starting to realise that it was not down to me and my belief. What happened was down to things outside my control. So what has happened to my belief in hope? It's still there and in fact it is coming back. Even during some dark times I kept telling myself that things will get better, and began to once again believe in myself - not necessarily in my ability to fix things. But in that I could help myself to feel better. No-one can experience loss and be 'fixed', I can't hope for that because that is always a something which I will fail.
I can though, help myself and begin to see some happiness in things around me again and begin to find a stable place to start from. Did I lose trust in myself? I think I did. But what I am now beginning to understand is that my belief should not be something I then punish myself for. What is life without belief? If I trust it and it fails, I move on to the next part. I just have to make sure I never lose the belief and hope I have in myself.
I want to leave you with this quote:
“I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the here and now?”
John Lennon
Has your belief or hope ever been tested? What kept you going?