The L Word

I was out with Miss Hockey last night or a game and drinking session. When we got home (at a reasonably late hour haha) we had the usual pizza and crisps to satisfy our alcohol hunger! Conversation drifted to my love life (or lack of at the moment) and my last relationship last year.Once again we reached the conclusion that we just couldn’t fathom the whole thing out. Then I asked the question:

“Why can’t I get over it?”

It was then that she hit me with something no one has said before about the relationship:

“You’re in love with him...”

I stopped. Thought. Shook my head. No way- it was a short relationship, I didnn’t get closure and there was no way I was IN LOVE with him. Was I? She carried on and actually she was right...I just didn’t/don’t want to admit it as I feel like stupid for it. Why should I love someone who I don’t see. To be honest the whole thing just makes me feel sad and embarrassed that it didn’t work so to think it’s love that I have makes me even more tragically sad and angry. But after 10 months what else could it be? I’ve tried chatting to other people and even turned a date down and when asked again a week later thought why not but it just wasn’t what I wanted.

This post may sound like I’m feeling sorry for myself but I’m not, I’m just confused and I’ve been made to see that I love someone who isn't my Mr Right and now hopefully I can start the healing of my broken heart. I want and need to work this thing out and need to do it soon.

Any fellow broken hearts? Or any advice on how to mend and stitch up a broken heart?