I don't need saving.

Since being diagnosed with depression and anxiety I have had to take time away from work and I am becoming more aware of the way that people treat me. As I posted Friday, friends have been an absolute huge support and infact my BFF, Miss L, has been a lifeline with her nights in watching trash tv and eating lots of pizzas and chocolate with me! 

My family have treated me with kid gloves but in the same breath they don't understand what I am going through. I try to explain but it's like they almost don't want to know how difficult it is.  I think it's partly due to the mis-understanding of depression and the fact they don't want me to suffer.

Another person I have come across appears to think that I need 'saving'. I am not sure why this is but that is the way appears. This is someone I have never met, had small amount of contact with and all of sudden feels like I need their support and advice. It's strange because when someone has suffered depression themselves (and factor anxiety into the mix) you would think that they would not continue to keep going when it's clear there is no want for contact. 

Yep, I already have a Knight (Who isn't a douche) - I don't need another thanks.

I have my very close friends and family supporting me in their own way, as well as a certain Mr French Canadien to look after me. I also have a couple of very close friends via blogging/Facebook who I have known for at least 3 years now. I do not make friendships easy and I do not trust easy. Why? Well this is proving why. I make good thoughts about people when in the very early stages of friendships and have a very good feeling about thos I want in my life and those who just aren't right for my friendship. I feel uncomfortable with the attention and focus on my journey.

I am aware that everyone has their own ideas and thoughts but sometimes you would think that after a while certain things become obvious. I am working with a good therapist who is helping me deal with a few issues in my life and she is doing a great job. I have amazing friends to sit with me, holiday with me (Miss Faux Fur - I love you) and family to help support. I don't need people in my life who think they know me and act like I need saving. I am not at my best but I certainly don't need a stranger saving me.

Have you ever had people thinking they know you when in fact they have no idea about the person who you are?

Organisational skills... or lack of (Money edition)

I have now been in my own apartment for about 6 months. I love it. But what I don't love - the organisation which comes with a home. I am doing it all alone, it's my place and noone else's. I don't share the burden with a friend or a guy, - it's all me.

This brings it's problems though. I like to think I am organised but I just can't be organised in my own home. In my job, as a teacher, I strive to be organised and in fact too organised sometimes but in my home I struggle. I have bills and such to think about.

I hate bills - not just in the I have to give people my money sense (because who likes that?) but in the fact I have check paper work and make sure everything is correct. This freaks me out. I feel the pressure is immense and I tend to freeze and push things to the side. This is not my best feature, I know that! I am beginning to recognise my anxiety when it comes to dealing with things like this.

Argghhh.... I have to sort papers!!! [Source]

Not only that, because everything is direct debit these days I kinda just go with the flow. I could not tell you how much I pay out a month. I just know it is not as much as my wages. It is the money left over (which I have an approximate idea) which I think let whittle away. I was finding my lifestyle before having a mortgage was not something I could uphold once I moved in. I am not in any means struggling, however trying to do the same which I was doing before moving in is not something which is viable.

So what are my options? I am wanting to travel again and that costs money - who would have guessed huh? But alas money is what is needed. So I need to get saving and organise - ASAP! My Mam got straight onto the case and bought me a sensible file to keep all my postal correspondence in ( from bills to payslips to medical).

Now that I have that in place as well as a to do list which I work on to make my jobs easier to manage, I needed to focus on my saving routine. This is when I came across 'the envelope idea'. Through Travel Babble's twitter I found this post:

Envelope System for Budgeting @ Treasure Tromp

The method basically states that you live via cash as far as you can. You look at your budget and work out how much you need for utilities etc. I will still be using my direct debit as due to anxiety issues this helps me. I will then get a collection of envelopes and label them with titles e.g. meals out, fitness etc. Whatever things you may spend cash on. I will then have this budgeted for the month and once I have spent my money in the envelope that is it. This will allow me to keep more of an eye on spending rather than using my card for a little here and there.  Any extra left over that month I will then put into a saving's jar.

Obviously I have not started this method but since I get paid tomorrow it seems like the best time to start don't you agree? I may fail or it may be the best thing ever ... all I can do is try! Wish me luck! I will try post again to update you on my progress.

Have you any saving tips? Have you tried the envelope saving idea?