No one's getting out of here alive...

It is with great sadness I am sharing this post with you all. As you are aware my big brother has been fighting hard against cancer. On November 1st, in the early hours, he sadly lost the fight and passed away surrounded by all his family.

After a scare on Wednesday evening which resulted in him being resuscitated, we received a call early Thursday to say he was going downhill once again and all made the journey to be with him. Words can not describe the pain which hit me when I walked into his room and saw him. I knew the end was near and I wanted more than anything to have things pick up all of a sudden and him to be fine but truth be told, he looked so fragile that I knew this was all that was left. We all spoke to him, held his hand, which he was unable to move, and then he went. The sadness and tears around me was unbearable. The pain of humans is a thing to behold and how we all handle things differently is amazing. I have never felt more scared and distraught at the same time.

My brother was an amazing guy. I have looked through old messages, texts, emails and what's apps between us and can see the connection we had. He was someone who I could talk to on the phone for hours about random things as well as deep and meaningful things. Craig was such a logical man who dealt with things in a way which others could sometimes not see. When diagnosed in January , we became even closer and saw each other on a weekly basis. In that time we continued our discussion of sometimes nothingness but it was us and that's what amused us. From watching a football game to Unsolved Mysteries. Over the last 5 weeks during his time in hospital, it has become part of my life to see him almost on a daily basis. One of our last conversations was him explaining the idea behind Star Wars and the fact they came in three's. Just so normal. He was a hero of mine, a man who inspired me and made me question life and what we're here for. He always said he wasn't scared to die and accepted that it was going to happen. I just hope that that was something he held onto at that final moment of passing.

Rest in peace My Craig. I will always, truly miss you and will think of you forever. Thank you for being a brilliant big brother who made me laugh, cry and want to be the best person I could be. I will love you always and forever.

Fill not your hearts with pain and sorrow,
but remember me in every tomorrow.
Remember the joy, the laughter, the smiles,
I've only gone to rest a little while.
Although my leaving causes pain and grief,
my going has given me relief
So dry your eyes and remember me,
not as I am now, but as I used to be.
Because, I will remember you all
and look on with a smile.
Understand in your hearts
I've only gone to rest a little while.
As long as I have the love of each of you,
I can live my life in the hearts of you.