I have been lucky in the last month or so to have made some new friends. Some will be people I will have the odd conversation with, whereas I know at least one is a very important person and I think they have been brought into my life (and vice versa) for a certain reason. Through this experience I have began to assess friendships and figure out if they are good or bad for me. Just like romantic relationships, friends can have positive or negative effects on you and your spirits. I have made a big effort to reconnect with friends who I have for one reason or another fell out of contact with. The result?
Happiness and positivity.
Both have been people I have known for a similar length of time and met at work during my time at Uni (so nearly 6 years ago) and as I left the place of work myself anf one of the friends just kinda drifted. The other, we never fell out but something happened that changed us.We were still friends but just didn't have that same bond.
Last weekend we went out and in the spirit of being a new me, I told her how I'd felt and what had upset me. From being honest we talked and sorted things through, it was brilliant. It's like, why didn't I do that sooner? It's like having a brand new friendship but we know each other well. We've both decided that we are still the friends we used to be and we both need to make that extra effort to see each other since we're not at Uni anymore where, let's be honest, it's such an easy time to go out and plan things. Once you leave and get jobs and start living you 'real life' things get harder.
I have known the other friend for just as long and we used to work an evening shift together at work. We used to gossip about boys and bonded over the trials and tribulations of two certain boys. Regardless of the couple of years difference between us, it seemed our love lives mirrored each other with unfathomable guys. We've always kept in contact over the years and met up to have chats where we find nothing's changed. During the summer she went travelling and when we met up after I had returned we realised that we were both in the same place. We both feel positive and are trying to find the good in situations which maybe in the past we'd have thrown our hands up in the air and thought, "What on earth am I to do here?"
It is nice to not just have new friends but also reconnect with old friends. Maybe we all need a time out sometimes to get ourselves back on track and realise what we want in our life and friendships. I am pretty sure that, like everyone does, we want friendships who can be happy for us when things are good- even if they aren't in the best place themselves, console us when things are bad and help make us laugh when we need a pick me up.
Have you ever re-connected with an old friend only to wonder, "Why did we lose contact?"
Isn't it funny how this happens when we get older. We realize who is important in our lives, who doesn't really fit in anymore and which friendships will last no matter what. So glad you reached out to your old friend. That would have been a terrible thing to waste :)
ReplyDeleteI've had the opposite. I chose to distance myself from a friend a couple of years ago. She wanted to reconnect so we got together. It was then that I remembered why I had to distance myself. Her negativity, life choices and overall attitude were draining and I always came away feeling depressed and frustrated. I do have a few friends that no matter how long we go without seeing each other, when we do, it's like we never missed a day. If that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with the first post. I have always been the independant type strike out on my own. But now i want to be with the people i care about. Its wonderful that you reconnected with your friend!
ReplyDeleteHello Missy,
ReplyDeleteThis is Judy, a new Follower of your Blog. I love this post. Strangely enough through Facebook I have connected with so many friends, pen-pals and school mates whom I had not had contact with for a very long time. We have gotten along as if we were always in contact. I have some close friends and we have always been in contact although they do not live near to me. There are times when I really wish that I lived closer to friends and relatives. The internet has helped me so much since the death of my twin as I have been able to link up with a lot of twinless twins. I have also had the pleasure of meeting many wonderful persons through Blogging. I am glad that I have learnt of your Blog through 'It's Comment Love Day.' Take care and all the best to you.
Judy
@ Lindsey- I suppose it's true what they say, "The older we get the wiser we get." I'm pleased I did it too. Definitly character building being honest!!!
ReplyDelete@VV- That's sad but at least you gave it another go, At the end of the day some people are just not made for us. It shows more maturity and confidence if we can accept that.
@Jodi- Yea, a few people I have spoken to have blamed their abundance of indpendence on the lack of being able to fully connect. I think it's all about finding that balance and then I think you attract the right and smilar kinds of people.
@Judy-Thanks for following. It's great that you have people you can rely on whether in person or via another connection. It makes life easier when we share our feelings.