"You leave something or something leaves you...which is easier?"
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| Or do they get pushed away? |
It happens on a daily basis, small things seem to just go in a flash, you ponder the reason and can't figure it out. Sometimes, 'things' go over a period of time and one day you stop and think, "What happened there?" No matter when, how or why things go it's either you that leaves or it leaves you.
When I think of this in relation to friendships and people, I can map out a couple of friends which I have left. This was for a number of reasons, mostly due to not getting along or running out of things which we had in common. To put it bluntly, the friendship was hard (for both involved) and that's not how friendships should be. That to me was easy, there was no animosity...just a shared understanding and sadness that something had run its course. No one was sad, just happy of the time we'd shared. However, other friendships seem to have ended without me wanting it to. The other person just left after being quite mean. Was this harder? Not really because I knew this person wasn't being kind or nice or supportive and I realised I deserved better than them and that I should invest my time in friends who were actually that- friends. Now I'm older I sometimes look back and wonder if things could've been different and realise that at that time, that was the best for all.
Other times I can think of when I have been 'left' I realise, the older I get, that I was selfish to have been so upset and sad. This is particularly when I think about the loss of my Gran. She was ill and struggling and now, with a more clearer head I realise that for her it was what was best. It still hurts me like hell but she was better for it. Maybe selfish isn't the right word, I don't know but it's certainly one of those times where the older you get you begin to understand the situation so much better.
After thinking about this question for some time I realised that the answer to this question is different depending on the situation surrounding the actual leave. I look back and think of situations which I still find hard to think about as I feel like I was left without being ready and that's a sad thought. On the other hand I am pleased that I have left or been left as I know I am so much better for it. Also, time affects everything- feelings, thoughts and personality.
What is my answer to the original question? I don't know. Can you ever have a straight answer to that question?
Maybe the question should be more looked at as time, in time whether you leave or get left all becomes clear and the reasons why are more easy to understand?
Does this make things easier?
5 comments:
I agree it is a difficult question to answer, and it's so dependent on circumstances. But I believe that in any case, these things always happen for a reason. You might not see it at the time but, to quote Marylyn Monroe, "sometimes good things have to fall apart so better things can fall together".
At least it was a relief for your Gran in the end. It was when I lost my Grampy too, he had lost the ability to do all the things he loved and then lived another 6 months, bed-bound, unable to get up, eat or drink. In the end, it hurt less to see him go than it did to see him like that every day.
I definitely agree with you though, I think leaving is always the right decision, whether we decide to do it or have the decision made for us.
A great post, really got me thinking :) x
This post kinda made me sad. I hope everything is okay. :)
It is funny how I always get back to this quote from OTH...it fits a lot of situation in my life..I am always trying to understand why people leave or why I leave, but it doesn't take the pain away from either one of those moments...I am glad you have found your way of dealing and growing with each situation -- that is a very smart and grownup outlook, Missy :)
@Summer- Glad to get you thinking. Fabulous quote too btw!
@El Grande- Don't be sad- it's a kinda happy post. It's just realising that sometimes things happen for a good reason. All is good, thanks for checking :-)
@Reb- Well I do try and be smart and grown up...sometimes! haha!
That's good.
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