Guest Blog Post- Find the joy...

Today I have a guest blog post from an amazing and strong woman - Momma ST.J. She has had many a things to deal with in her daily life but also she has had to deal with the news her Father is dying. In her post she is frank and explains how she manages to stay happy. Personally, I find her inspiring and hope you can take something away from her strength and braveness too.

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Let me start off by saying thank you to the beautiful Missy, for allowing me to step into her blogging world for a day.

My name is Erin, better known as MommaStJ,
and I write over at Momma St.J Says.

Today I want to share with you something my mother always says to me whenever I'm being a Debbie Downer-

"life sucks, then you die."
(weren't expecting that were you?)

It always make me stop and think.

Walking around with a Life Sucks attitude isn't good for anyone,

Especially when life does really suck.

No matter what sucky situation I am put in I am a firm believer in finding the Joy.

And I will be the first person to tell you,

It ain't easy!

First instinct tells me to run to the nearest Walmart, spend my paycheck on carbs and he-done-her-wrong flicks, and waste my life away in a cocoon of self pity.

You know what I mean? yes, you do.

To be honest, that's exactly how I handled any bad time in my life up until Christmas 2008.

Macncheese, PS I Love you, and zero conversation with my husband.

I will never forget the day that my parents sat me down and told me that my father was going to die.

He told me matter-of-factly that his muscles were going to waste away, he would lose his ability to speak and eat, and if the doctors were right, within 5 years he would be dead.

He was 47 at the time.

ALS, Lou Gherigs Disease, which has no treatment, no cure, was going to kill my father.

The emotions I went through the weeks following his diagnosis were radical.

I was up, down, left, right, crazy, subdued.

Ultimately I came back to

Life sucks, then you die.

and decided that the only way to get through this journey was to
find the Joy. every. single. day.

When I look back on how I reacted to the petty things that were so trivial,

I am embarrassed.

It took death to shake me from my immaturity and say

Hey, I'm ALIVE and there is JOY to be found!

There is Joy in the fact that my dad was able to be here for the birth of his first grandchild;

He is still able to communicate to us using text to speech programs on his MAC;

He was able to celebrate 25 years married to my mom;

He has the most positive outlook on his situation, and is at peace with where he is.

I won't lie to you and say the past 3 years have been easy.

I won't tell you that it doesn't break my heart that I haven't heard my dads voice in almost two years.

I won't tell you I didn't hate God when my dad made whatever grunts he could when he was holding my newborn daughter, his first grandbaby, as though he was talking to her. 

I won't tell you its easy eating in front of a man who is fed by a tube.

I won't tell you that learning how to care for my dad as he is now on a ventilator and is nearly bedridden is something I can do with strength.

I'm not superhuman.
The life-sucks-then-you-die bug is constantly flying around my head.

These are a few things that help me wave that flyswatter...

• Reality TV. Not so much reality, but so mindless it's comforting.

• Frugal Finds.
  This is my ultimate drug. $7 clearance Gap jeans? I'm flying high for at least 3 days.
• Ben and Jerry's American Dream.
  Do I finish off a pint in one sitting? Yes. No. But I don't lock myself in my bedroom while diving in.
  I sit with my husband and tell him how much I'm going to regret it in the morning.
• Planning Events.
  Surprise parties, 5Ks, birthday parties, showers. I can't think back to a time since I was married that I wasn't waist deep in decorations and menus.

Sometimes it's just the little things.

Here's what I want you to take away from this debbie-downer-on-happy-pills post,

There is Joy to be found everywhere you look.

Our finances are in shambles, but guess what,
I just got a free coupon for shampoo!
I put on 5lbs and my pants don’t fit,
but I get to go shopping!
I can’t make it to my best friends wedding,
but I can send her a box full of gifts and things to make her smile!
I didn’t get into that college,
looks like that campus just wasn’t good enough for me!
My dad is dying from ALS, but he ISN’T dead YET! 

I encourage you to Find the Joy in every situation in your life where you want to curl up and disappear from the world.
Hold your fly swatter high and come down on the life-sucks-then-you-die bug with force!

Come visit me at Momma St.J Says every Friday, to see how I am Finding the Joy.


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Don't forget, if you would like to guest blog please feel free to email me at:

takeallchances {at} gmail {dot} com

Tell me what you would like to share with my readers and I am sure we can organise a post.